Life is for Living

Thurs. 11-14-02

2010-10-13T19:07:00.007-05:00

We're on our way to eat & Brett's goin' to the bathroom. The other day at Bread & Roses I had my viola & this man tried to tune it for me, but didn't have much luck 'cause the tunin' knobs are real tough to turn. So today I'm bringin' it again 'cause he's got some lubricant for them. But I hope he doesn't want to tune it again, 'cause I didn't like it last time, so I've taken it upon myself to purposely screw up the tuning. Just how I like it. But I know he won't ******' understand that. Anyway- it's gonna' be another perfectly warm, sunny day here in Cali. I wonder if- well, I probably will- get sick of the wonderful weather.

Everyone's settin' up their **** on the boardwalk at Venice Beach. Gettin' ready for another day of louring tourists. & all the pigeons are anxiously waiting for their meal of scraps. & I'm waiting for Brett to use the bathroom again. I have no idea what we're gonna' do today. Then again, I guess I never know. Oh yeah- we've gotta' go grocery shoppin'.

Layin' on the beach now. Brett's playin' my viola. It's weird lookin' here. It's completely clear- no clouds- but it's foggy or somethin'. Can barley see the mountains- & for some reason the waves sound a little muted. The water looks exactly like sparkling glass or crystal, moving until it breaks & looks soft. It seems so quiet here & the waves that throw themselves over the rocks, look like they do it in slow motion. I could easily fall asleep right now. Some birds just flew over me & all I heard were their wings.

I wanna' live as a writer. I mean, that's all I want to do, besides painting & writing music as well. But I mean, I just wish I could live off writing. & maybe that sounds like selling out. I dunno'. But I don't see it as that. All I want is to be able to do what I love & to be able to live w/out having to do something else as well, that I don't ******* enjoy. & I wanna' keep moving. I wanna' go to the east coast next. & soon. I want to be able to afford a trip out of this country by writing too. & I can't wait until I'm at a point where I can finally get a Rottweiler (Inka!) - I mean, that's not incredibly important or anything, but it's something I look forward to. & I think I've finally decided that I don't want any children of my own. I need to adopt. I need to adopt because not enough people do, & there's so many kids w/out someone to be their company, friend & to have a place where they can grow healthily & learn about God, who loves them. I'd much rather raise a kid who needs, instead of bringing yet another one into this ****** world just like everyone else, & not even thinking about all the individuals who were givin' up because they were born into some third world country & their single mothers are too poor to raise them, or they were raped & will be stoned to death if they don't get a (usually) fatal abortion, or give them up. Not that I'd want to raise a ******' poopy kid right now, but maybe in like 5 years, I can look into adopting from another country. Or maybe a Chinese girl- considering they'd rather just to keep the boys. I'm gonna' lay down for a while.

Some guy comes over & starts talkin' to Brett as I lay down. I knew he was no good, so I don't say a word. I want nothin' to do w/him. I just lay there & listen to him & Brett talk. Suddenly he asks Brett if he's ever had his **** sucked by a man. Then I know for a fact he's just a stupid demon & Brett says "No, & I'm not interested." The guys like, "Well, it could be fun." & Brett's like, "Yeah, I wouldn't doubt it for some people...blah, blah, blah..." So the man's quiet for a minute & I start prayin' over & over & over again, "Lord take this man away from us... I know he's the devil, take him away. Lord I pray he gets up & leaves." Then he says, "Well, if you ever wanted, I'd like to suck yr ****." Brett tells him, "Well, you can hit the road jack, right now... but it ain't for me to say." Then the guy was like, "Alright." & he left sayin', " "Blah, blah, blah, if you ever want to, blah, blah, blah." Stupid. But it's happened to Brett before & he handled it w/a calmness I sure the **** wouldn't have had.

I want people to know that if they're not living for God, their lives are pointless. I want **** to realize that God does exist & that she's blind to *****'* complete ******* evilness. & I'm pissed that I want a kid because it's in my ******* blood, deep in my woman-being. My instinct to want that. But I fight it & I don't want pregnancy. Ever. But of COURSE a part of me does. It sucks. & I wish I could deal w/the evil in people w/out using hate.

Brett just got done talkin' to a guy that reminded me of the guy at the beach. Once again- I didn't say a word, or turn around to look at him. I acted like I was into what I was reading. So they talk & he starts sounding so negative about everything & tries to discourage us. I knew this guy too, was bad news. So I pray for God to send him away & he leaves. The devil is obviously sending these people to give us a hard time. It's ******* annoying. I've gotta' pray tonight that God keeps evil far from us. (We were at the Marina Library, then the park-it's REAL foggy).

Wed. 11-13-02

2010-06-27T10:52:00.006-05:00

Alright, well last night I could NOT got to sleep. It was about midnight I think, when I finally did. I was pissed- well not really-but upset that Brett fell asleep so easily & I couldn't. I think that maybe he riled me all up after spewing about 40-45 minutes worth of words, all about the rotten human race, liberal scum & the unfortunate habit of reproduction. Then I started tickling his legs & stomach & he suddenly shut up. He tickled me back & then crashed. & I was up stirring in my sleeping bag wanting, contemplating just gettin' up & plugging the light in & writing. I didn't even know what the **** it was I wanted to write. But anyway, it's morning & we're in the St. Joseph's waitin' to sign up for our meal for tomorrow. Yesterday was fun. We took a couple buses to the Getty Center. We took the tram up the mountain & could see everything. We looked at art from around the time Jesus was on earth. The art was absolutely ******* beautiful. All of it. We were there for about 5, 5 1/2 hours & we didn't even see everything. We took a used coffee cup & filled up for free as many times as we wanted. About 4 or something. On two sides of the Getty- outside, you can stand & see the entire city of Los Angeles & the ocean & mountains & Santa Barbara Island & the Catalina Islands & the huge smog cloud over the downtown LA area. Gross! But looking to the right was clear. We got to watch the sun set from up there. One of the most gorgeous things I've ever seen. For a bit we stepped into an empty theater & Brett messed around w/the lights & tried to start a movie, but it didn't work. So we sat down & jammed for a while. It was fun, it all kinda' echoed. I'm lookin' forward to goin' there again soon. We definitely have to bring my mom there. & there's a beautiful garden maze & pond outside. I'd say the building & it's surroundings look more spectacular than the Louvre. Almost time to eat so I'll stop writing.

We're done eating & I'm WAY too stuffed & I have to **** incredibly bad, but Brett wanted to go to the kennel place & try & see if he could get a job! Oh man, I've gotta' POOP! Ahhhh! Hurry up Brett! I gotta' go! I gotta' go! & I have to talk to Sue today. She called Keith almost a week ago sayin' that she screwed somethin' up & that I owe her 30 more bucks or somethin' like that. Whatever. I hope it ain't any bull****. Brett'd be lucky if he got this job, 'cause he'd get to be around dogs all the time & he'd get to walk 'em. OK, my bowels have calmed a little. Maybe Brett'll get the job & he'll fall in love w/some girl who works there & they can walk the dogs together. Wouldn't that be sweet. Then he can off work & come back to his hairy, short-haired ***** girlfriend after a full day's worth of mad flirtin' & tell me he loves his job. Oh- what a wonderful imagination I have! ANY day now Brettina. Some of these homeless folk have the craziest bike setups & for some reason I've seen about 5 or 6 people now walk by carrying rolled up different colored mat things. Maybe they all just finished their morning yoga classes. There goes another one. Hers was yellow & blue on the inside. Here come 2 more. This is kinda' crazy. A blue one, a red one. Yeah- definitely yoga. They all have the pants on. Damn Brett, you're takin' for ever. You're lucky my **** ain't buggin' me right now. --A black one. Maybe the "Santa Monica Kennels" is really just an underground brothel & Brett's already happily discovered this, (OK, I think I can skip this silly stuff)-

La, la, la, I'm bored. I'd like to go to the library today sometime. Sometime after I ****! Some yoga girl just threw some food in the garbage & I'd dig for it if I wasn't so ******* full. Oh cute, a man & woman YOGA couple just walked by & he was holding BOTH of their orange mats. Maybe I should sign up for yoga. Yeah, pay $100 a class, instead of stretching in my own spare time. There's Brett. He just smiled & gave me thumbs up!!!!!!

Alright, we freaked out today 'cause Brett got A JOB! He starts on Saturday at 7 in the morning. & he can bike along the ******' ocean on the the way to work. I can't BELIEVE he got a job today! So happy! I'm real tired right now though. It's 9:00 & I'm writin' while Brett is cookin'. I'm not even hungry. I'd rather sleep right now, but anyway, we went to the library & I wrote ****. She had written me w/the subject as "hello Jesus!" Then she was like, "Damn dude, I didn't know you were a preacher. But I love you anyway." or something like that. I wrote her back like, "I knew you wouldn't want to hear any of that, but I thought I'd try anyway." & then I just wrote about a buncha' stuff. She didn't write anything about ***** of course because she knows she ****** up & she won't mention him, 'cause she wouldn't have anything to write but that. So anyway, out of nowhere, in my writing I write, "Alright, how are things w/you & Satan? U know, Mr. Upside-down cross tattooed on his chest. I hope well in yr case. I just hope you're ******' strong ****. & I don't care if you don't wanna' read this, but you need to stay away from him, it's ******' unhealthy. OK, that's all (or something like that). Kick my *** next time you see me, or just give me a big hug."

Uh- then Brett & I went to get a snack at the grocery store & some lady gave us passes to see a free movie at the theatre. Just a showing of it before they decide if they should put it out or not, or somethin'. So we decide to go. We wait in line & then we wait inside, already in our seats & Brett starts freakin' out about not wanting to get brain-washed. I tell him, it's OK. We're just gonna' watch a stupid cheesy horror movie. But we decide to leave & go to Barnes & Noble. I was HAPPY. So we chilled there for a long while & now we're back. The food's done but I just wanna' brush my nasty, plaque-ridden teeth & go to sleep.

Mon. 11-11-02

2010-06-27T10:44:00.004-05:00

The heater works wonders. No more dripping on us at night from the hatch above where we sleep. No more puddles under the mattress that we tried to fight w/the heat bar. No more wet walls. Anyway, today was a nice chill day. Worked on the boat a little this mornin', then left. We chilled in Venice again & finally I heard the guy on roller skates who plays guitar w/a little amp strapped to him. I called my mom today & talked to her for a while while I shared coffee w/Brett. **** got my email & told my mom, "Cristy emailed me & it was all about God (which it wasn't. Just some)- & she knows I don't believe. It was kind of annoying." -Okay. Whatever ****. I knew she'd feel that way anyway.

The rest of this entry is drama I don't care to share about a friend who was going through a hard time. I discuss w/ myself how I should just cut off all contact with her & pray for her. & that's what I decided to do.

Sun. 11-10-02

2010-05-09T15:19:00.002-05:00

Yesterday was a walkin' day. It was still rainy out too. We walked to both post offices (we should be gettin' one on Tuesday!) to some grocery stores, to some boat stores, & Brett got us into a bottom floor room of the Marriot. So we chilled in there for a while, Brett watched cartoons & I looked at a book. We could have a buncha' stuff we need, if we were to take it all from there: coffee maker, pillows, towels, blankets, shampoo, conditioner, iron, whatever else. But I don't think we will. Oh- & we also chilled at the Barnes & Noble for a while. Today we had some errands to run. We had to go to West Marine & Home Depot. We got a heater/fan thing for the incredibly annoying moisture problem we have, & we bought wood & stuff to redo the curtains. They won't stay w/Velcro anymore. It's too wet in here. So Brett just got back from Home Depot again. The wood we got didn't work. So when he was gone I cooked the last of our potatoes & cleaned. But, all he could get was a saw & some screws. So now I think- we think- if we cut 'em smaller & put 'em up, it'll work.

Sat. 11-9-02

2010-02-12T11:09:00.005-06:00

Okay well, it's Saturday morning & I still haven't written about Thursday night. So anyway, I think we decided to go to bed after I had gone up to the bathroom after Brett, my heart pounding so fast. So we climb into bed, & Seth climbs into a quarter berth & I feel like we're climbing into coffins. The first thing I really remember is when the light went out. I started to feel really strange. "Brett?" I ask, & he just hugs me in the dark. Then I feel like he maybe feels like I do & he can kinda' just read my mind. So he's hugging me & I feel like we've left our bodies & I'm scared 'cause I think we're both dying maybe, & I don't want us to. I think about how sad our families would be. I tell him to turn on the light. Please! Then I keep asking him how he feels & he says fine. & I keep saying, "are u lying to me?" "Cause I'm hopin' he's feelin' the same way, & I don't want him to just say he feels okay, to make me feel better. 'Cause it wasn't. I wanted to hear that he felt the same way. Then I told him that I saw death & I was scared & to please pray for me. "Are you praying for me? Please pray for me Brett." Then for a second I say, "Thank you! I'm fine now, I'll be OK, I'll be OK." & I hug him. Then I feel it again, so I say, " Don't stop praying though." Oh yeah- I also said I almost forgot- or I was gonna' forget how to breathe 'cause the part of me that was breathing & the other part of me (my soul) was completely disconnected. Anyway, eventually we get up to go to the bathrooms, although I really didn't want to. - This was after Brett had the light on & was holding my face & hugging me 'cause I was either completely stiff or shaking very badly. So we go to the bathrooms & I pee (I'm in the men's w/him- I don't want him to leave me) Then we go to leave, but I wanna' puke, so he makes me go back into the bathroom & I get real hot once I reach the toilet. "I'm hot! I'm hot! Take it off! Take it off!" & I don't puke, but I remember almost passing out. Brett holding on to me by the toilet & my head & eyes rolling. But I don't pass out & before we leave the bathroom again, Brett tells me where we are & what we're doing & says there's something wrong w/me & he might have to call someone & to please just try to deal. So we go back to the boat & lay down again. & I don't remember much else except that I told Brett to play the recorder. "Grab the tape recorder. You have to rewind it though." & he played it. The **** we had recorded that night, before I realized how high I was. I remember that when it was over, I said it made me feel better. & it did. Although, I still asked Brett if it'd be OK for me to pass out, 'cause I thought I might die if I did. But I started to anyway, & I remember every once in a while, Brett shakin' me a little & sayin' my name, to make sure I kept breathing. So yesterday we were complete mush brains. We ended up takin' our clothes to the laundromat to dry. We walked in our pajamas & barefoot through the rain & cold. Some guy near the laundromat saw me & gave me his bagel (after I told him, "no, it's OK. Really, I don't need it"). After that we just bought a little food & got our bikes & came to the boat. Today we work on getting a P.O. box!

Break from the journals again...

2009-12-31T21:37:00.003-06:00

Some of you know we had just lived in Seattle shortly. A lot longer than our first stay, but still short-
Anyway, I wanted to share about my last day there.
I had mentioned to Brett I wanted to get pics of all the places we slept during out bike adventure. I got some, but not all of the places. Well, the day before I had to leave Seattle my second time, we ended up going to the U-District to see if we could find the building we had slept in our second night in Seattle, back in 2002.
We found it! We both commented on how crazy life is & how we NEVER would have imagined we'd be there again...this time with our 4 yr old daughter!
We parked our car (yes, we unfortunately own one of those now...) & checked to see if we could just waltz in, the way we had that memorable night in the past.
In we went! Up the stairs, 3 floors. It wasn't night this time 'round, so it felt a bit different, but we found the room! Room 301, in Gowen Hall. Of course, it had to be filled with students (something I feared would happen to us in the morning, when we slept there!), so we couldn't go in & look out the windows down into the pretty courtyard. & I didn't have my camera with me, because we didn't plan on doing this...
After that, we drove the car down the street to the place we got coffee that next morning.
(I had told Brett, "OK, now pretend we're on our bikes! Here we go..." I said, pretending I was holding handlebars. Next thing we knew, Brett was driving down the sidewalk! I guess I really got his imagination goin'!) -That was a good laugh...
So when we found the place, Brett ran in to see if he could get a coffee, so we could really relive our memory, & I sat outside with our daughter. That morning, I had called my gram from the pay phone that was right outside the building (I can't remember the name of it- I'll have to ask Brett). I remember it being a beautiful fall day. Red & brown leaves were blowing on the ground all around me. This time around, it was December, so now no leaves & also no pay phone. Of course. Everyone has cell phones now. Myself included. So I called her from my phone as Brett came out with a coffee! Yay!
I don't think anyone can really know how enjoyable this all was. That was an amazing little chunk of my life & I'll never forget it. Nor did I ever think I'd be back again.
Our daughter probably wondered why we were so amused at all this. :)
If you have the chance to do something wonderful, something everyone else is telling you will not work, is impossible, or dangerous, or this...or that... Trust God, listen to the Holy Spirit's leading, & go..........
Blessings!!!!

Thurs. 11-7-02, Fri. 11-8-02

2009-11-10T10:47:00.005-06:00

Well, we've been gone 2 months now, & I feel like I've lived an extra 2 years in that time.

(I'm going to skip some of the entry here...)

Ah, then I went to try & get a P.O. box, & I ran into Seth, the guy we met near the end of our stay in Arcata. We had let him eat some oats w/us & had told him about the tree. Anyway, we freaked. It was so crazy to just run into him like that. I told him where we were (which wasn't much help) & then left. & also, on the way back to the park I ran into Augustino. But anyway, I got back & told Brett & he left to find Seth. & what ended up happening was craziness. Brett found him in the library & came back w/him & Seth had a big bag of clippings that he wanted to cook with. A lot of them were going bad, but we used 'em anyway. The guys went to buy some **** at the grocery store & I called my dad. He's REAL happy for us & so proud of me! He told me I'm a cool daughter to have & that to just enjoy myself, I'm young. & he told me that he & Roxy might be goin' to San Diego in Jan. & they could stop here & visit! So after the guys returned, we cooked. We made butter w/ the clippings & ate it w/ pad Thai noodles & sauce & then we made rice crispy treats. We made so much & ate SO much, we all got real ****** up. I was alright for a while, I sat outside of the boat w/Brett & played music on the guitar & viola w/him - & then once I got up to follow him into the bathrooms, I realized how high I really was, & from then on, it got worse. I'm gonna' write about it later, but right now I just wanna' chill. Brett & I are back at the slip w/the help of Aug. again. Anyway, this mornin' we biked to eat in the rain & on the way back, it was rainin' even harder. So now we're waitin' for our **** to somehow dry out at least a little bit. Seth left when we did. He was goin' to the library to see if he couldn't get himself a greyhound ticket to Louisiana I think. I gave him 10 bucks for a bracelet & necklace I picked out for myself from his box of jewelry he makes. So that'll help him. But um, I'll write about last night later.

11-6?-02

2009-09-12T09:36:00.005-05:00

Yesterday we were at that place 'till after 3:00. WAY too long! But Brett got us food stamps & so we went grocery shopping. After we ate, we were in bed & someone ******' knocked on the boat! We were like what the ****!? A couple seconds after they knocked, we saw their shadow leave. Brett wanted to peek out & look, but I told him that'd be a bad idea. First we thought maybe it was someone we knew, but then we realized they wouldn't come & knock on our boat at 9:00 at night. So soon, Brett peeked his head out a little & slowly. He saw some man standing up by the bathrooms (which are right at the top of our dock) & then a few seconds after, the man moved & then went down the next dock over & probably into his boat. We didn't know what the hell to think (except that maybe it was a nark tryin' to warn us, or just give us ****). So we just went to sleep. & right as I reached that point to where yr half asleep & half awake, we heard someone walk up to the boat again. We waited & waited & nothing happened, & we never heard them even walk away again. & we fell asleep. Strange, strange! Anyway, this mornin' we went & signed up for a free meal at Bread & Roses again & then we went & ATE our meal! Besides the good coffee & doughnuts they had this time at the place where we sign up, once we got there & found a table for two, we got coffee & another doughnut! Yum! Then we got pretzels (2 bags- saved one), then the meal (we got the vegetarian) goulash over rice w/zucchini! & buttered bread, orange juice & apple sauce & all the coffee we wanted! I was SO extremely full! Then we went to the boat to get our dirty clothes, & went to do laundry. We ended up seeing Augustino there too. He was also doin' laundry I guess. He got us both a cafe au lait & told us he had 2 batteries for us, they were chargin' in his charger. So I'm wide awake on coffee & Brett's freakin' out on coffee & we get back to the boat, & as I'm finally puttin' the sheets back on the bed, Brett's out by the motor. I thought he was tryin' to finally get it up, out of the water, until I heard it start (I guess he was just tryin' to start it the whole time). I'm like, "Brett, what are you doin'? Whydju' start the motor?"
He's like, "We're goin' to the park."
I'm like, "But we don't have our bikes, & we don't even have all the sandpaper we need."
He was wantin' to sand it, 'cause Aug. told us we should do it right away, 'cause it's gonna' rain tomorrow & Fri. But anyway, Brett's all high & ******' freakin' on coffee & we start to move the boat & I'm like, "But now we're gonna' have to pay again."
"It's only 16 bucks, we're okay," he says.
So we make it there (it's just across the way) & I jump off with a line & Brett outs the motor in reverse when, I dunno', he shouldn't have or something & I guess the motor made a funny noise & then I watched as the side of the boat rams into the dock & it's LOUD & crunchy sounding & it leaves a black mark on the boat. Anyway, I get pissed, 'cause I realize what just happened. I'm like, "What the hell Brett? Now I have to go pay, & we don't even need to sand the boat right now. We GOT the slip, ya know? & we don't even have the **** we need." So then it starts to sink into his head too. & he's real sorry. "I ****** up bad, okay?" he says. "Please forgive me. "We don't even have a full day here, the sun'll be down in a couple hrs, & we don't even have someone to help us back into the slip. I ******* up, so now we've gotta' make the best of it. We either have to work, or call someone to help us back." He goes to call Keith & I call my mom. I had planned to call her today, so I talk to her- & she might come w/Lee for Thanksgiving! Yay! Anyway, Keith'll help us in the morning, so we go to buy more sandpaper & buy varnish too & decide that hey- at least, maybe it's good that we're not there another night. You know? At the slip. So we get back & work & Aug shows up. (He had told us,"Oh u don't need to go to the park to sand."- whatever Aug.) So I think he's a little disappointed, but he gets our motor up & tells us the batteries will be at his dock & we can come later & get them. Then he leaves & we talk a little about him. First of all, things I don't think I've written yet- Hans & Louie know him & called him a vulture. They don't like him- & also, some man walked by one night while we were at the park, & asked Brett (after he had seen the name of the boat), if we had bought it from Augustino! So we think he's been tryin' to sell it under our noses! Tellin' us to get it all cleaned up- "no, no securing a slip & getting insurance aren't important, just clean the whole boat out, clean MY whole boat up." (sarcasm!) Anyway, & when I saw him at the laundromat, he seemed weird, like he wouldn't look me in the eye. He says he stopped by this mornin' & I ask him, "Oh- did u knock on our boat last night?"
& he's like, "No, it's probably the dock master wondering if it's a live aboard."
I'm like, "No, I know it wasn't the dock master. It was some man." Anyway, so we figure, he just wants the ******' boat & he's- oh yeah- & when he came over he's like,"But everything's okay w/the marina right? You just came over here to do this right?" Tryin' to act all concerned about us, when really, all he wanted to hear I'm sure, is, "No, we got kicked out!" But uh, so we decided we need to cut him off completely. So tomorrow before we leave, we're gonna' give him the sander back & his wet/dry vac. & we're not goin' to get the batteries tonight. Tomorrow we're goin' to Home Depot to buy our own smaller wet/dry vac for 30 bucks & some sanding blocks & cheaper sandpaper, & then we can do section by section in the slip & not make a buncha' noise. & I'll buy NEW batteries when we NEED them. Aug. was like, tellin' us he has batteries for us, so we can hook up our 12 volt system & we can go anywhere. It's like, where the hell do we need to go Aug.!? Um- recently I tried to call my dad, 'cause he wanted to hear from me, & I want to talk to him too! But I didn't catch 'em, so I left a message. & just recently, while I was out helpin' Brett put on the new dock lines he's makin', he heard the pay phone ringing, & so I ran up to it, after I realized it might be my dad, & it rang a million times before I finally reached it, I pick it up & say,"Hello?' & they hang up at the exact same moment. So that really sucked & I tried to call back again, but it was takin' a while & Brett needed my help, so I hung up before I could see if he answered. I'm sad! I wanted to talk to him, but hopefully I can get a hold of him tomorrow! But I also found a little penny pouch next to the phone & took it. I counted the change & there's a dollar-thirty-five in it. So maybe it was God that called me on the phone & gave me some change that maybe I'll need in the next day or two for some phone calls I might need to make or something. Phew- I gotta' stop writin' for now & maybe for the night.

Mon. 11-4-02

2009-08-24T10:44:00.002-05:00

I'm going to start about half way through this entry. Augustino ended up helping us into the slip, & then we ran errands/stopped at the library, etc..........

I think we did alright on our first night in the slip, but we made a little too much noise. Brett had to piss twice & he was goin' through the hatch, leavin' black footprints on the boat & makin' way too much noise. I had to go once & went through the door, after we decided it was stupid to use the hatch, besides the fact that it obviously looks like yr sneakin'. We burned our nag champa before we went to sleep & it was sooo yummy. Oh yeah- there were lights on in the boat next to us, the one that's for sale, & for some reason they were still on early this mornin'. Anyway, this mornin' we got up & out at 8:00 & signed up for free food tomorrow at the Bread & Roses Cafe. Yay! & my mom put the $1,000 in! I'm so incredibly grateful to her! I have to call her & my dad tomorrow. & we just bikes pretty far for Brett to sign up for GA. He's in line right now. The real sloppy writing at the bottom of pg 112 is 'cause we were walkin' a little ways to the building. He's gettin' helped now, I hope we get some food stamps today! That would help so much! But I dunno' what's goin' on. Here he comes-he just sat down & filled some crap out, now he's up & waiting again. I'm so hungry right now! & tired! We went to bed too late. I want some food & coffee! Oh well. Some guy just came in & said a buncha' things that will make these people ineligible. & one was, if you're here for food stamps & you have a felony or drug charge, you're not eligible. Brett might have a felony here. I'm gonna' read my little bible now.

Oooh-kay- it's 2:00 & we're still here, but they close at 3:00, so Brett should be called before then. We're both incredibly hungry & we still have a long bike ride ahead of us. Speakin' of- I hope our bikes are okay. I mean, we locked them up, so-whatever. Brett should be called w/in the next half hour.

Sun. 11-3-02

2009-07-09T19:50:00.003-05:00

I tried to pay in full today, but the ATM only let me take out $800.00, & the bank of course wasn't open. So I had to give Sue $500.00. Now we can't move in until tomorrow & Kieth can't help us. Hopefully someone will though. Anyway, today Brett recarpeted the stairs, & made a couple small rugs for inside w/the carpet we had (navy blue). Then we went out & bought some place mats to cut, to put over the portholes & real nice dark blue velvet drapery that Brett cut & put up w/ buttons he got. We didn't get our incense today though. Today we ran out of cash completely. Neither of us can take any out for food- that reminds me, while I was coming out of Ralph's today, & I grabbed a handful of cookies out of the free sample bin, an employee stopped & told me to come talk to the manager. He told me basically that I shouldn't be taking that much & that my boyfriend & I had been in & out all day & taking candy from the bins (yeah)- I told him he was an ***hole & that the samples were free & I was hungry & I threw the rest of the cookies in the garbage & yelled at him as I stormed out. (Wow. A little mean!? Over the top? Forgive me Father!! I'm glad I've learned a bit about patience & kindness since then!) Anyway, the boat's lookin' so nice! I talked to my gram today & Brett finally talked to Cody. He was sayin' they were gonna' come here 'cause they're leavin' for Vegas on Wed., but it might not happen now. Um, I'm tired. I think I'm gonna' go lay down now.

Quick Note

2009-06-28T17:16:00.002-05:00

I don't have access to a scanner at this time, so I won't be able to post any pics until I do. I apologize for this, as I know seeing pictures of the things I'm writing about would make it that much more interesting. As soon as I can, I will be adding pics to any post they coincide with. Peace!

Sat. 11-2-02

2009-06-15T13:33:00.004-05:00

Last night I was reading the bible, & I found Mark, chapter 11, verses 22, 23, & 24. I've read it before, & I like it so much, & it's something I just need to remember & trust in right now, so I underlined it. "So Jesus answered & said to them, 'Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, 'Be removed & be cast into the sea', & does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says. Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, & you will have them.'" So I pray last night & I prayed this morning & I start calling different marinas, after I write all the #'s down from the list, & a lot of them don't even answer. Finally I call Tahiti Marina & it's it! $299.00 a month (sneak aboard though). So I talk to Sue, the dock master, & end up bikin' over there to fill out an application & stuff & end up having to go back a second time w/a picture of the boat (that Kieth did for us w/his digital) & $20.00 for a credit check & Brett's cleanin' the boat all day. Eventually we get a break & we go to get something to eat: pad thai noodles, spiced rice curry sauce, tofu & a green pepper & some soy milk & peanut sauce & we -oh- & a loaf of bread, & we have a wonderful meal. I had also called my mom after I talked to Sue for the second time & told her the news & she's sending me a thousand dollars!! Wow! & I'm sooo happy we get to stay in Marina del Rey! But I still haven't payed for the slip. It'll be about $900.00 (1st & last month's deposit, plus 1st month's rent). I'm doing that tomorrow. Keith is such a good guy! He wrote a check for $200.00 so I can afford to pay tomorrow. & he might be able to get me a job at West Marine ( a marina store). I tried to call my dad & tell him the good news, but I couldn't get a hold of him. I'll try some time tomorrow. Oh yeah- & Keith is gonna' just loan us the motor, & we're gonna' let him have the free parking spot we get. The slip is gonna' be a real tight squeeze, but I think we'll be fine. I'm sure I have more to write, but my hand is tired, & so am I.

Fri. 11-1-02

2009-05-24T13:58:00.002-05:00

Well, we pretty much finished the cleaning of the inside of the boat today. Just little bits here & there left. Nothing major. Keith's at the park now, a couple slips over. We just cooked our first meal ON the boat. Rice pilaf. Um, there's a young couple next to us now. Listenin' to The Grateful Dead right now, sittin' on one of our "couches". Met a couple lesbos that came walkin' by w/their dog. One was from San Pedro. She's like, "Oh, I love Pedro. I'm from there." Told us, there, you're more close knit. There's more of a community there. Then told us of some marina to try down there. I called my mom today too, & I think she's kinda' worried for us. I mean, just 'cause we're not secure/stable right now. Keith offered for us to buy his dingy (one of them) & the motor for $400.00. I'm gonna' offer him $300.00. I think he'll be fine w/it. Uh- tomorrow we look for a slip again. Brett wouldn't mind findin' one around here, & sneakin' on, but I'd like to just get the one we're gonna' live at & be liveaboards. It'd be nice. & I think we might also look for jobs. So far, we've been able to stay at the park today for free. Hopefully tomorrow too. If the slip thing doesn't work out, we're just gonna' have to anchor out. I'm gonna' do dishes & get ready for bed or somethin' now.----

Thurs. 10-31-02

2009-05-20T17:10:00.005-05:00

Well, I haven't written for a while (strange...the date doesn't suggest this!). It's late, it's probably close to midnight & I'm actually laying on our bed in the boat! The last day I wrote, Hans did get us back in time. We started watching Don like hawks when he came w/the U-Haul. He had to hire two men to help him. We overheard him say he'd be gone in about 2 hours. Our eyes lit up & we got huge smiles on our faces. We thought he was there for another night! We could start on the boat that day! & it was still early afternoon! Brett ended up finding the anchor rope Don said we could have, in his car. So Brett took that out & sneaked it over to Louie's boat & Brett also found that the spice rack was missin'. The one that was part of the boat, but that Don said he made, & then said was from a 40 foot powerboat. Don tried to take it! But Brett ran over to the U-Haul & found it on the bottom of some box & sneaked that back too! Anyway, everyone was happy when Don finally left. & we cleaned the boat. This morning, while I was dreaming about eating these delicious pecan pie/brownie things-free samples- at Ralph's Grocery, & just about to go buy some coffee, I awoke to someone saying,"Excuse me?" I peep my eyes from out from my sleeping bag & see the small man that has a boat across from Louie, & like an angel, he asks, "Do you two need an out board motor?" It 's like 5-5:30 in the morning (he was goin' to work) & all we could say was, "Yeah! Yeah, thank you!" But we couldn't fall back to sleep, so we got up & Brett started on the boat as I went to buy coffee! We're cleanin' & later Hans shows up (he's been a lot of help!!) & drives us to get some stuff. I buy an outboard motor mount & some other stuff & he drives us back. Soon, Keith, from across us, is helping us mount it on the boat & he loans us his motor, 'cause the other guys' has a small problem. Once it's on (after Brett havin' to leave twice for a new bolt & nut) he motors us around, & back, then he talks us into just goin' over to the park today, instead of waitin' for the mornin'. We pack up & head out & Keith pays for our first day here. & we've been cleanin' all day of course!- Oh, once we got to the park, we had to walk all the way back to get our rope outta' Louie's boat & return his key & get our bikes, & we're about to (somehow) bike back w/all this heavy rope, & Hans & Louie show up! They were lookin' for us. Just like angels they're there right on time. Hans drives out rope back & we bike back. But anyway, we're extremely tired, 5 hrs short of bein' up 24 hrs. Goodnight! (-Augustino cooked lamb for us, -whoops! Haha...)

Wed. 10-30-02

2009-05-06T18:14:00.002-05:00

Tomorrow's stupid Halloween. Dumb holiday. The way Americans celebrate it anyway. Yesterday, after we both took showers, Brett & I went in & talked to Louie & his friend. We talked about Don & the boat & his friend gave us a lot of advice. He's got some kinda' accent, but I don't know what, & I don't even know his name. But soon, we were up & out & going over to sleep on this guy's 50 foot boat (sailboat). He stopped at the grocery store for us, 'cause that's what we were about to do, & we got some wild lookin' noodles & fettuccine sauce. This guy's in a similar situation as us, & he's anchored out at sea, I mean, off the coast, not in the middle of no where. There's other people anchored out here too. But um, we never made our dinner because we both got seasick. At least neither of us puked though! But I got really good sleep & dreamt that Jesus was hangin' out w/me & Brett. Now this mornin', Brett's makin' us eggs (although we've decided to work toward being vegan), & I just hope this guy gets us back before Don starts work.

Tue. 10-29-02

2009-04-23T17:35:00.002-05:00

Okay, yesterday we finally got over to the library. I emailed Lynz back & Brett emailed back his mom, Cody, Joey & B.J. I tried to figure out how to change my email address, but I couldn't figure it out & it p***** me off. I also insured the boat. $111.00 a year. So now I've got 799.17 left. We were gonna' bus to Cabrillo yesterday too, but we decided to just bike there today. Which we didn't do! We ended up takin' the bus today & the office wasn't even OPEN! Waste of money!! Oh well, right? We're back now & Brett's swimming & acting demented. Cabrillo's a ******' ghetto! We wanna' stay here now. We hope we can. On the bus ride back, we read parts of the bible aloud. We just saw Don by his car & Brett asked him if he needed help w/ the U-Haul. & he said he had it all under control. I was like, "Well, we gotta' get our stove & fridge somehow too." He said he'd bring 'em down. I'm glad we don't have to help him w/all that now! & I'm not gonna' worry anymore about how this is gonna' work out. I'm just hopin' we can stay in Marina del Rey. We like it here. It's just that we're gonna' have to get towed (hopefully by Augustino) to the park & waste some money there by day, & clean out the boat. & we have to pay for a survey too probably. God please, please, please help us to stay in Marina del Rey & be able to pay for it all. Please help it to all work out & soon!

Sun. 10-27-02

2009-04-13T18:01:00.003-05:00

Today's been kinda' crazy I guess. I ended up callin' the cops on Don. We came back from gettin' our breakfast & Don tells us he's takin' a day off (not that he does any work)- but he wasn't gonna' let us work. So I started yellin' at him again. Then I storm in the boat, grab his phone & call the cops. While we were waitin' for 'em to show, Brett & I are speakin' our minds. Pretty much tellin' everything we've been tellin' each other, & everything we've been wanting to say. The cops get there & I tell him what's goin' on, then he talks to Don & comes back w/ the contract. & that's where we screwed up, so the sheriff couldn't do much. He was real nice to me & everything & I could tell he felt bad, but he couldn't do anything. So, we had to get all our **** off the boat & give Don his keys. Brett was in the bathroom prayin' while I was talkin' to the sheriff. He prayed that God has the right thing happen. Whatever happens, God have happen. So I guess God wanted us the **** away from that demon! (Oh my gosh! I was freaking out!)

So now we're at Venice Beach watchin' a basketball game. It's sunny & warm today. God wants us to rest! Take a break finally & relax! We've got a few days to do just that! A guy named Louie, that we've talked to before (he's also called Don a lyin' *******) came right over & let us put all our **** on his boat & told us we can come up & sit on it whenever we want. He's right across from Don, so we can watch & make sure he ain't ruining the boat- or doing anything.

Okay-while I'm waitin' by the payphone to call my mom again, 'cause it's busy & she won't get off the phone, I'll write some more. Louie's lettin' us sleep on the boat-out on top, under a tarp. He's got a big nice boat. He says he goes to work at 10:00 & Brett asks him what kinda' work he does. He's an artist he says. Brett's like,"So are we", blah, blah, & Louie says, "I do silk screening... ya' heard of the artist Andy Warhol?"
"Yeah! We love Andy Warhol!" says Brett
"Well, I do silk screens of his art." says Louie.
He worked with/for him! He knew him! Anyway, Louie's a real good guy. We biked into Santa Monica today after we cooked our little organic shells & cheddar w/liquid aminos (oh, aren't we cool!)- & saw a buncha' people playin' dumb*** pop songs on the street lined w/ stores & I saw a baby Rot! A little Inka! So cute! (Oh- Brett surprised me w/ a large coffee!- went on the Santa Monica pier.) Then we biked along the coast on a bike path into Venice & we went to a couple big drum circles on the beach, Brett played his sax a bit. Now we're layin' on the boat. I talked to my mom. I wanted to call her, 'cause we were lookin' at the boat & Don popped his head out & told me she called & Brett told him that he'd still help w/ the U-Haul too. He kinda' has to, in order for us to be sure to get our stove & fridge. & to make sure he don't take anything off the boat.

Sat. 10-26-02

2009-04-13T17:48:00.002-05:00

It's the holy day! The sabbath, but we HAVE to work. God knows this anyway. Jesus worked on the sabbath, performing miracles. Um, yesterday we called & talked to Augustino & he invited us to stay on his friend's sailboat again. It was gonna' rain & besides, Aug. thinks Don's a nut too. I guess Aug. stopped by sometime in the afternoon while we were out eating & Don was tellin' him about his gun collection. So anyway, on our way to Aug.'s (we were takin' out time) Brett gave me a tour of the Ritz Carleton. We ate some food that was outside someone's room & took a look at everything from the roof. Today once we got to the boat, Don was gone & it was locked. So, we got in through the hatch at the front of the boat. We cleaned a lot of the walls & **** & took the mold-infested blinds out & sprayed 'em down. They're a different color now. Eventually Don got there & opened the boat. Augustino also let us borrow his friend's sander, which is gonna' help tremendously! & he gave us the # of another friend who we could ask to store our sails at, so Don can't try & take 'em. But we didn't call the guy. We just stopped over & talked to him. He wasn't too happy, but oh well. We're on our little lunch/dinner break now- or should I say our venting break!? Actually, I've been (amazingly enough)- patient today & Brett's been tellin' Don what's on his mind. We're through bein' fake & playin' the nice people to someone who's so full of evil. (I'll just add this comment: Wow...) So I mean, he knows we don't like him now. Brett's at the West Marine gettin' sand paper for the sander I think. We read a little of the bible this mornin' as we drank our coffee & ate our free cookies & pecan pie samples.

Unstained

2009-04-10T00:15:00.011-05:00

James 1:27~ "Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world."

I'd just like to write a misc. something right now. God wants us to stay unstained from the world we live in. How do we do this? What does it look like? It's real easy to not do this.

There's a lot in our society that has changed over the years. I just read a book about a Norwegian-American immigrant mother who walked across the U.S. with her daughter in 1896. Back then women wore dresses down to their feet, stayed home with their children & usually bore as many as they could. I'm not saying this is an example of the golden days or anything. It's just an example to start with. Think about how different our society is now! Yes, that was a long time ago...but things are changing every day. American society is a good example of a lenient society. Just think about it for a minute.

It's okay for there to be half-naked people on billboards- right outside our homes- for those of us who live in the city. I've even watched some very innocent-seeming children's movies w/my daughter & had to either turn them off, or decide we wouldn't be checking that out from the library ever again! With the majority of people in this day & age, a lot of stuff is "okay". I'm all for unschooling (a type of at-home learning) & will be practicing it in my home. Another name for this is "child-led" learning. But some parents go so far as to not discipline at all. To watch their child hit another child, or take from another child, without saying a word. They figure the two children will figure it out for themselves. & will the children ultimately come up with a loving solution? Will they learn to put others first? Or are children selfish by nature?

The Lord wants a pure bride. Unstained. Does this mean we have to be perfect before He'll except us? Of course not. He came to save & love unconditionally the hurt, broken & lost. Does this mean we can do whatever we want? Don't think so. Christianity has gotten a bad rap. Some people think we claim to be perfect & then they see us doing things that are far from that, & think, "Ha! Those Christians are all hypocrites." The most important thing to our Lord regarding His followers, is to love Him whole-heartedly, & to love others above ourselves. How many completely selfless people do you know? There's not a lot. I just read about a group in Portland (one of the least Christian areas in our country), who every Friday night, go under a bridge in the city, where the homeless come & these people feed them & wash their feet! Can you imagine? But that's what Jesus did for those He loved.

A lot of people may call you old-fashioned; a nerd; uptight; a baby. Can you think of any other names a person would be called if they didn't do things that pretty much the whole of society does? A square, sheltered...I could go on & on. People who truly live for Jesus lose friends, sometimes even spouses. Some are pushed away from their own family. Remember when Jesus said that because of Him, a family would be divided? A lot of people say that Jesus came to bring peace. But in Luke 12:51, Jesus says, "Do you think I came to bring peace on earth? No, I tell you, but division." & again in Matt., 10:34, "Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword." He then goes on to talk about division between people because of Him. Even within a family. I suppose He did bring peace in a way. Peace between us & our Creator. He reconciled us, bridged the divide. Thank you Jesus!

So I guess that's it. I was just thinking about how hard it is to not let the world stain you sometimes. I'd love to hear others' thoughts on this. Your experiences... Love you all!

Fri. 10-25-02

2009-04-02T13:37:00.004-05:00

Well yesterday we cleaned out half the boat. & now Don says he's missing his medication. & his headphones. Whatever. He wants to dig through the boxes today & find that **** even though he's got enough meds to last him a week! & what the hell does he need his headphones so badly for? It's 7:30 or a little closer to 8:00 & Don's still sleepin' but we're up & ready to work. Last night while I was already layin' down & Don was in the boat watchin' T.V., Brett went in the dumpster & looked through every bag we threw away & he couldn't find the ****. I don't even care! I just wanna' get the work done. After we did all that, we walked to the grocery store (cause my tire's flat) & ate some stuff, then came back, organized some stuff & then walked to Venice Beach. I started freakin' out 'cause I was so exhausted I could've fell asleep if I layed down for a minute. But Brett delt w/me & played sax on the beach & then we layed on the beach together for a while talkin'. After that we walked back (& then, that's when Brett went in the dumpsters-didn't find the ****) & then went to bed. Augustino stopped by earlier yesterday to see if we wanted to go sailin' w/him in his boat, but we were too busy. Today we finish the rest of the boat!

Well I finally freaked out today. I mean, when stuff just gets to be too overwhelming & I can't express my exact feelings, I eventually explode & that's what I did today. In front of Brett, yeah- but Don was there too & that's a good thing! Don tried to tell us we were done today, when we weren't. He was tryin' to tell us we weren't gonna' take anything else off the boat. I told him we were & that I was startin' to get pissed & then eventually it just happened. I stormed off the boat & went along the dock bawling & cussing & sayin' it's all overwhelming & it's all bull**** & his stuff is all garbage & this & that. Then Brett walked w/me up to the bathrooms so I could blow my nose & I came out still cryin'. He thought I needed to go for a walk, but I told him I didn't give a **** that I flipped out, that I wasn't embarrassed & that we could right back down to the boat & Don. I went down there, shouted that it's my ******' boat anyway & we're ******' cleanin' it out. & we did. Don was kinda' quiet for a while & then we all started talkin' to each other about the work & Brett was calmly tryin' to tell this psycho man that it's just work that needs to be done. I mean, he's completely loony! He says, "I know what you guys are tryin' to do- you're tryin' to get it ready for you guys on the 31st." Uh- YEAH! What the hell else do you think we're gonna' do?! I mean, he's just completely illogical & making me go crazy. Then, (this guy is also a compulsive liar) he suddenly tells us he can get a van for half a day & bring all the **** to storage that's sittin' out on the dock in boxes & bags. When before he said he got the van for Monday, because they just didn't have any until then. So the money he says
he doesn't have to be sleeping in a hotel this whole time, he spends on a truck & a new storage space. & he's tryin' to take our sails! I mean, he took 4 already. He says they're for his DINGY! ALL 4 OF THEM! He ain't takin' no more! He's NOT. The only venting Brett gets to do is when we take a break & walk to the store to get food to eat & he repeatedly says things we both already know. But it's alright. At least he stays under control when he needs to.

Wed. 10-23-02

2009-03-16T14:34:00.004-05:00

Ick, ick, ick, yuk! Puke, puke! Don's on a date tonight & so Brett & I took it upon ourselves to clean some **** outta' the boat. This man has a serious psychological problem. I mean, chunks of broken wood, broken cords, empty pudding cups, dirt, dirt, dirt, things that we don't even know, ****! & all this & more was just in one quarter berth (sleeping spot)! We got a whole box filled (a big one) of **** we thought he'd like to keep, & 2 or 3 huge black garbage bags full of throw away stuff.& 1 big bag of garbage he'll probably want to look through! Augustino stopped today & brought us a wet/dry vac. But he wouldn't take a picture of the boat, 'cause we don't have the inside cleaned out. I said, "Well isn't it more important to get insurance & secure a slip!?"
& he's like, "No, no! You clean the inside & then we'll take the picture & bring to the dock master & maybe get you extra week."
I'm like, "There's a boat already comin' in on the 1st."
"Who told you that?" he asks.
I tell him Don did. He talked to the dock master already. Then he tells me we're gonna' do it anyway 'cause the dock master probably just said that 'cause they want him out & this 'n that. So whatever. He also wants us to sand & varnish all the wood. So after he left, we started on that right away. Of course we didn't finish sanding or anything. We're not even close. & then we took a break & ate some spaghetti & I called ____.

I'm gonna' skip some drama here that I don't think anyone would be too interested in reading.

& then, we went to get spaghetti sauce for our noodles. I guess we didn't eat until after that. On the way to the store- we had to walk our bikes, 'cause mine had a flat- he's talkin' about what we're doin' out here. How when he was here w/Kit doin' this same ****, how he suddenly had to leave. He'd told Kit, "I don't know what it is man, but there's somethin' I have to do." He thought it was maybe to finish school/get his G.E.D. (which he never did), or put a show together (which never amounted to anything 'cause all those people are screwed up now). So he says, "I'm assuming it was you. Ya' know? I mean, I had to go back for some reason, &...there ya' are."

So um, Don's still not back & Brett's on his way to sleepin'. Neither one of us are lookin' forward to to seein' how Don's gonna' take the fact that we went in there & delt w/some of his ****. So I hope to fall asleep soon too. I called my dad tonight also. He's SO happy for me. He thinks it's real cool. & I was so happy to talk w/him. He always makes me feel so assured. Remindin' me of Romans 8:28 & tellin' me to not worry & God will work it all out & to just do good for other people always! But my hand hurts from tryin' to write all this down, so I'm gonna' rest & try to sleep now.

Tue. 10-22-02

2009-03-16T14:22:00.003-05:00

Well, it's after 6:00pm & we haven't eaten yet today- but Don just ordered us a large pizza! We woke up this mornin' & did laundry & Brett swam in the pool. Then we cleaned the whole outside of the boat. An EXTREME job! Augustino stopped by & took some "before" pictures. Then Brett & I biked to Tobacco Traders to see if I could get the job. I left my name & Don's #. The woman seemed very nice & she knows it's Aug. that told me about it. She's givin' my name & # to the boss tomorrow. We came back & Brett & Don brought some more stuff (from the outside of the boat) to the storage space. & I FINALLY called SOMEONE! My GRAM! I guess everyone's been really worried, so I told her everything that's been goin' on. Then I called my mom. I guess she had pneumonia, but she's better now. She was SO happy to hear from me!-Oh, pizza's here, I gotta' stop writin' for a minute.- Delicious veggie pizza!! Anyway, um, my mom was happy for me! She'll wire me the money when I need it & she might pay for the slip. She was SO glad to hear from me! She said don't worry about anything & she's gonna' pray for us & if it doesn't work out, it's okay, I'll learn a lesson. Um, tomorrow we're gonna' work on getting insurance & finding a slip. I'm gonna' read my book now for a while.

A Return to the Journals...

2009-03-01T12:27:00.004-06:00

I'd like to summarize a couple days. Sunday, 10-20-02, Brett & I biked around Venice Beach, amused by all the people putting on acts. We didn't look for jobs this day because most everything was closed. We went to the boat earlier than usual (we were still staying in the boat Augustino's friend owned) & listened to a John Cale tape we had bought. The next day we got up early, went to the grocery store for breakfast & decided to give the boat keys back to Augustino afterwards. I'll quote the rest of this day:

We get to the store & some guy who just pulled up starts talkin' to us 'bout what we're doin'. Travelin' & ****. He's from New York & he lives here now. He ended up talkin' to us for about an HOUR! Kept sayin',
"I gotta' go!"
Then he'd walk over to his car, start talkin' some more & come over to us again. Anyway, it was 10:00 when we could finally leave- but the guy bought us orange juice, bagels, & apples n' pears! So instead of goin' to Augustino's, we had to go straight to Don's. We went to the D.M.V. & took care of **** (after Don bought us both a large coffee & some doughnuts!) Then we had to do a bunch of work at his storage space. Then we came back, & Don & Brett went to drop off some boxes that were on the boat, back to the storage, & I biked to Aug.'s to drop off the keys. Of course he made me tea & fed me dates & Brett & I ended up meeting on bikes on the way back 'cause he was worried about me, so then we went to the grocery & ate (**** is SO expensive now 'cause a' the war!) Anyway, now we're on the boat. We're sleepin' on the outside of it. Don gave us a key & tomorrow we hopefully get enough work done on the outside of the boat, for Aug. to get a picture of it & get us insurance. Oh- & Aug. gave me the # & address to Tobacco Traders, one of the girls who worked quit & I'm gonna' fill out an app. It's only weekends though. But hey- anything works!

The Lord has orchestrated something new...

2009-02-21T20:54:00.050-06:00

I do plan to continue with the journals as soon as soon as I can, but I'd like to share something about our current adventure...

Last spring I remember telling a good friend that I had a feeling something was going to happen this winter. I didn't know if it would be good or bad, & didn't know if it would be on a personal level or not. I continued having this feeling all spring, summer & fall. I wondered what the Lord was telling me, & was a bit frustrated that I couldn't figure it out. Also hoping nothing bad would happen, to be honest.

Brett & I looked at sailboats throughout the summer online, & decided it would be fun to just go to the Puget Sound area & look at some boats. Brett even filled out applications for West Marine in Seattle. I thought well, maybe something will come of this & that's what I'm feeling. Brett wanted to leave in December. A few reasons why: He had the money, we wanted to see what it was like in winter, in case we ended up getting a boat & living on it, & there were two specific boats we wanted to see before they sold. Then the Pacific Northwest had their big winter storm. The main highway was closed due to avalanches, snow, & then floods once it all melted. Finally, it was time to go.

Our second day here, Brett got a call on his phone from a number he didn't recognize. Now, it's amazing that he even answered, considering he has phone anxiety. He looked at it & said, "ah, what the heck. " It was West Marine. Yes, they just happened to call the second day we were here. They asked him if he could come in on Tuesday at 3 for an interview. It was Friday I think. Of course he said yes.

Then we looked at one of the sailboats. It was in Port Angeles. The same type of boat we got in the story you've been reading on this blog. I thought I'd be really excited about it. Maybe feel like I was stepping into my old home. But I felt nothing for this boat. We had one more to look at. Also the same type (Islander 32), & also in our price range. But in the meantime, Brett had found a live-aboard slip in the center of Seattle. In Lake Union. $560 for the live-aboard slip, including water, sewer, garbage, showers, laundry. All in an area that is otherwise very expensive living, as far as I know.

We looked at the spot. On the end of a dock filled with floating homes colors of the rainbow. Blue, green, yellow, purple...We liked it so much that we immediately called the gentleman back & asked if it was possible to hold the slip, although we didn't even have a boat yet! He replied that yes we could, that it was awesome that we would be living aboard & that a sailboat would be perfect. He also said he would hold it for us, as long as we supplied proof of insurance once we had the boat & the first month's rent (which would be for March) & we could have the rest of this month for free. Wow. It's a cooperative dock as well. We met a woman who's lived there for 23 years!

The next day we looked at the other Islander, located in Vaughn Bay. This one I got excited about! We made a deal (for the price we wanted to pay), shook hands & said we'd return during the weekend with the money & move the boat to our slip.

So today's Sunday. Brett & Craig have been moving the boat since yesterday. It's approximately a 21 hour trip by boat. 1 hour by car. Sequoia & I drove back to Craig's. & the guys have been running in to lots of trouble themselves. Including running out of diesel, & not knowing if they'll make it where they need to, to get more. The mainsail is not in very good shape, so yes, they've been motoring the whole way. Another reason for this, are the strong currents they've had to fight.

So, Brett's new work has called to confirm he got the job & has also said we can have a month to return home, get our things & do whatever else we have to do to move out here. They told him to take his time & call them when he's ready! Another wow.

This is all the news I have for now. Once we return to Minnesota, I'll get my journals & continue writing as often as I can. Love to you all

A break from the journals...

2009-02-16T11:07:00.002-06:00

Hey everyone, I won't be updating the blog for a bit. We're on a little adventure in the pacific northwest. We're back in Seattle! The first time since the stories in these journals. I actually got teary-eyed as we drove past Greenlake the first day we were out here. The rooftop we slept on twice is still there, although the house that was next to it had been torn down. They're building something big there. The coffee shop where we met the two folk jammers, is now gone. I took a picture of the sand dune area we slept in. I have yet to get a pic of the University building we slept in. I can't believe it's been almost 7 years! The city's so different from car! A friend we haven't seen or talked to since we sailed off in 2004, has taken us in. A lot of stuff is happening... & fast! Coincidentally, just as fast as it happened when we arrived in MdR. I'll write a lot more later...& post pics when I can. Peace in Jesus.

10-19-02

2009-01-30T17:43:00.004-06:00

I didn't write anymore last night 'cause I was too stressed. My mind was all tangled & spinning at the same time. I didn't want to think about the boat anymore, I just wanted to sleep. It's night again & ah, it's about 9:00-9:30. Brett's goin' to call his mom soon again. He called her last night (after not talkin' to her in a very long time) & filled her in on everything. I'm not callin' my mom until **** is more organized & legit. All day today we looked for jobs around Lincoln & Maxella. Handed a couple applications in & have to hand more in tomorrow & look for more jobs. Again tonight Augustino gave us green chai tea & dates & pecans. He's done this, I think, every night now. I'm tired. & there's some waves right now gently rockin' the boat, makin' me real lazy, I'm gonna' fill out a couple more applications & lie down. Oh- wait, wait, wait! Brett shaved his beautiful white, gold, copper, brown, black beard off today & had me chop all his beautiful hair off. I've never seen him in short hair- well, this short anyway. He looks SO different! & still so beautiful! :)

Fri. 10-18-02

2009-01-16T14:39:00.006-06:00

It's morning & I guess while I was goin' to the bathroom, Augustino stopped by & said he'll be back at 11:00 & to wait for him, 'cause he'll come w/& tell us if the boat's worth it & find a slip too maybe?

Well today I bought a $15,000 sailboat for a thousand bucks. Crazy. My mind's a mess. Augustino came, saw the boat, smiled right away & told us to do it. (I had prayed the night before, asking the Lord if He could tell us through Augustino, if we should get the boat. It was a confusing time & I thought an easy way for the Lord to show me would be through another person, because I myself didn't really know what was right. As soon as Augustino saw the boat, he smiled big & I knew right away we would get the boat.) Got the cash, came back & talked to Don w/Augustino. Went to the bank w/Don & got the title & made a stupid contract, which we shouldn't have done. We should've listened to Augustino. Went to the DMV to get the title transferred, but couldn't do it because the date on the contract, for us to have possession, is on the 1st. So now we have to wait until Mon., to talk to Don & see if he'll come w/us to the DMV & do what we gotta' do. Then we have to clean it out & up quick, because: we can't get insurance w/out the title in my name; we can't get a slip for the boat w/out insurance, & someone has to look at the boat (has to be clean) for them to accept it in the slip. It's a mess I didn't expect. & now Augustino's tellin' us how (very) expensive engines are, instead of talkin' 'bout towin' us somewhere (like he had said he could do). So, if he can't just tow us somewhere, he'll have to buy the boat from us. Because we can't afford an inboard motor. We need to see if we can get an outboard.

-can't get an outboard- waste of money & it'd ruin the boat-

Journal #2/ 10-17-02

2008-12-30T20:00:00.012-06:00

Just got done feedin' about a million ducks at a water canal in Venice. We stayed up 'till about 6:00 in the mornin' & then crashed on Venice beach. We got up at about 9:30 or so. It sucked puttin' my bike together last night when we got here (not that I did any of the work)- but then we biked a little & ended up just comin' back & takin' a bus over here. We got off as soon as Brett noticed the library. The one he always went to.Then we biked to the beach, & then biked to a 24 hr grocery. We got some food & as we sat eating it, this guy gave us 10 bucks. He said he & his girl have "been there". He was real nice. (We also met a man on the train, he called himself T.R. He was a funny guy w/tons of stories. He gave us 6 bucks for food & an envelope w/his address & stamps to mail him the money back!) Then we biked around the marinas. SO beautiful! We found Augustino's boat! We sat by the marina Brett & Kit lived at w/their boat & talked about- well, first he reminisced for a while- & then we talked about all the **** we could do. Gettin' a sailboat, jobs, livin' on it, gettin' Runty out here, buyin' Inka (The female Rottweiler I had wanted at the time). My mom visiting. I hadn't seen much of the place & it was night & my first impression was that I loved it. It was a good first night here. This mornin' we signed up for a free meal tomorrow & we're goin' over to the library soon.

I emailed my mom 'cause she emailed me from a friend's computer. We went to the Marina Del Rey library instead & while I was lookin' at Andy Warhol books, & we were both waiting for the computer, I guess Brett overheard 2 men talkin' about a guy that's moving & needs to sell his sailboat immediately $2,000 or less. It's a 32' & so we went to go look at it- not talkin' to the guy yet- & it's huge! & beautiful. We're both ecstatic. (The picture to the right is what it looked like when we first saw it. Although it was basically used as storage for lots of garbage, we saw the beautiful boat it used to be...& wished to be again) Now we're at the showers by the marina. Brett remembered the code & he's takin' his shower now. I'll take mine next if the code is the same for the women's. We have to try & look our best & go some how find that man & talk to him. I'm worried we won't find him. Then- I have to call my mom. I have to tell her about it & ask to have the $600.00 that's in my/her credit union wired to me. We can safely offer this guy $1,600.00 & still have money for 1 month's rent. But we'll both have to get jobs right away & geez! This is happening way too fast! It's so good though. I keep remembering now & again that I'm hungry. We haven't eaten anything, but half a sandwich each this mornin'. I NEED COFFEE! Oh- & we don't even know if we can have a slip ( a place to "park" the boat) here, 'cause we're not residents. & who knows if that costs more!? All I do know is that I prayed, & I know that whatever happens, happens for the best. I just wish I knew what's supposed to happen!

We went back over to the boat & Brett talked to the man. He stepped out & I smiled. He was a big man, dark hair, Hawaiian-print shirt not buttoned up all the way, slacks, no shoes, & stogie in hand. Looked like he was in the mafia. Anyway, I'm gonna' try & make this real short- we don't have enough. The guy wants $2,000. But we could still offer him $1,600.00. We have to make sure the boat can stay in the slip, or I dunno' what. The engine's shot. So that sucks real bad & a lot of people are lookin' at it right now. Some kid was there while we were & he was waitin' to look at the boat. We left & ate & talked about what to do. The slip costs 320/400 or somethin', & we'd need insurance & a month's rent. The guy- Don- said if we come tomorrow & give him 1,000, he'll sign it over to us. We'd mail him the rest. Then we went over to Augustino's boat again & I watched Brett walk down & over & he was soon in the boat. I smiled & laughed to myself, imagining Augustino bein' like, "Come on in!" & he was. Brett came right back up to get me & we brought all our **** down & Aug. made us Chai green tea & fed us dates. We talked to him about the boat & he gave us some info. Now- our second day here- we're sleeping in a sailboat! It's one Aug. sold to a friend & it's across from his. The friend won't be here tonight. Aug. even offered to make a duplicate of the key if we need to sleep here more than one night. Of course, we won't let that happen. (We did) We want this boat so bad! I wish it could just work out. It's an amazing deal. Goodnight.

Wed. 10-16-02

2008-12-27T09:52:00.002-06:00

Okay, well- we're sittin' at the Amtrak depot the next day! I dunno' really what happened yesterday.Of course, we had to run into some kinda' bull****. (Actually, this was obviously a blessing I didn't recognize. At least we didn't have to arrive at 2:30 am!) So we had to stay in Martinez over night. & we're takin' the train this mornin' at 7:30. It's about 7. So yesterday, after we found this out, we walked over a small bridge & sat on a bench that overlooked the depot. We were gonna' stay up all night. It was only 6:30-40pm or so. We got a little high & went for a walk. We found a park & some grills, but no wood or water- therefore-no oats! We lay in the grass for a while & then walked over to an old train surrounded by a fence. We found a hole cut in the fence & went in. We climbed up to the top of the thing & smoked more. Then we watched some trains go by w/graffiti on 'em. On our next walk to find a 24hr market or somethin', I noticed one of the only places open. It was a Thai restaurant. I stopped & looked at their hours (open 'till 10:00-another 40 min.) & then glanced at their menus posted on the glass. We went in. I wanted to treat us. There was no one else in there as we lugged all our **** in & sat down. The woman seemed happy. "Waiting for train?" she asked. Yep. It was hard to understand much of anything else she said, but ****! It was THE best meal we've EVER had! The food was extremely delicious! Brett ordered some rice & some peanut sauce & I ordered Roma Tofu. Pan fried tofu w/eggplant & coconut milk (red bell peppers, green peppers & onions, & real good coffee too) First of all- she gave us extra rice & put it on both our plates for us. Then another woman comes w/more rice-"No extra charge," she says. Then came time to pay. I took out my check card & asked if I could leave the tip on that. The she tried her hardest to explain to us that their machine wasn't working. I went to go to the Wells Fargo a couple blocks down to get 20 out & suddenly Brett's next to me. "Go! You can't leave her like that!" she said. Or somethin' I guess. We got mints w/the bill too! & then we come back & she brings us 4 more mints. The bill was 11 somethin' & I left her 6 bucks & all the change as a tip. We leave & she runs out after us seconds later. Handing me a dollar she says, "You left me too much!" & runs away. It was like we just stepped inside some one's kitchen & were fed. & it was amazing food. We were high on the food & the service for the rest of the night & couldn't stop laughin' & talkin' about it. (Jesus loves us so much! He took the time to make such an ordinary thing into such a blessing! We were served by angels!)

Then Brett found a path across from the depot, that went along some beat up old buildings. We slept on the side of the path, against a fence. Weirdest spot left- but we were tired! A couple times, a big-*** train would go by & wake us up, but otherwise we had good sleep once we got in our sleeping bags! Train'll be here soon. We 'll be in L.A. at 9:00pm.

The train guy just said we're in Berkley. Never knew we'd be goin' through here. I guess we're in Emeryville though or somethin'. While we were goin' through Berkley, we were supposed to be able to look to our right & see the San Francisco Bay. (which I guess I did.) & also the island of Alcatraz. He said we could see the city of San Fran or somethin', but all I could see were trees in the way. Oh well. I dunno'. I also saw an extreme amount of graffiti. & I think Brett missed it all 'cause he's takin' a ****.

Tue. 10-15-02

2008-12-26T11:28:00.002-06:00

We slept in the tree for the last time last night. It was extremely foggy on our way up. We couldn't even see the trees in front of us once we reached the park. It was foggy this mornin' too. We showed Seth the tree, so he can sleep there now, & we all smoked up. He's a "photographer" & he took a picture of the 3 of us & the 2 of us w/my camera. We're on the bus now-which I didn't think we would be. I'm real tired & we didn't say goodbye to Mariah & we won't see Kit. Getting my bike in the box was such a *****! It's pretty much completely taken apart. & both our boxes were too small, so they look all ghetto w/chunks of cardboard duct taped on 'em. We had to rush 'cause Brett took the time to walk & get the bike that's been sittin' at the Safeway for days - unlocked. But he couldn't get anything off of it, to fit it in the box. Anyway-my bike'll probably break by the time we reach L.A. Oh yeah-& we're arriving at 2:45 in the ******* morning! A short distance from Skid row. God protect us! Anyway- I guess this is what we're supposed to do- 'cause last night I prayed that everything work out if we're supposed to leave, & nothin' to work out if we shouldn't.

(Brett was up in his sleep. He had to pee real bad. He was REAL pissed & kept asking where the box was. I didn't say anything, 'cause I didn't know what the **** was goin' on & he's like, "Oh, so now we're all ******* silent!" Anyway-it was real funny.)

Mon. 10-14-02

2008-12-24T13:15:00.002-06:00

Ate too much yesterday. But I was grateful. Went to Mariah's, got high & listened to her talk about the troubles she's havin' w/her roomies. Now this mornin' we're cookin' our oats on a fire this guy named Seth made. We're makin' enough for him too. Kit might be here tomorrow & we also might leave. After we eat breakfast we need to go find boxes so we actually have that option. Open mic tonight too.

I just bought the next notebook. A GREEN one. Yay. We smoked up this mornin' by some other kids (some girl who came from Manhattan & has a newborn black lab) one hit for us both & I was discouraged until a couple minutes afterwards & I was real high! They also had something which allowed 'em to make coffee. So I got free organic coffee too! Good morning! We've got boxes waiting for us for tomorrow mornin'. The people at the bike shop are lettin' us use it & store it there. So I'm supposing we're takin' the bus? I don't really remember, but I think I might have prayed for God to help us find boxes that'd work-if we should go straight to L.A., & not find any good enough-if we should bike it. Anyway, I'm gonna' go get 20 bucks outta' an ATM & see if we can't get more weed from these people who live in the big green bus.

We biked to Cassie's & I bought us half an 8th. We-I think-chilled at the marsh a while & then went for a bike ride & finally took a picture of our bikes all packed up near some cows. I recently read my poetry. I only read 3 though. I think I read 'em too fast & too quiet. Oh well! It's done. I went to the bathroom & knew that on my way back-Brett would be up there- & he was! ******. Anyway-it's real ritzy-lookin' here, but there's been real good poetry & cool people & free coffee (yummy too) & snacks. It's 9:30 & we're still still goin'. Still drinkin' coffee too!

Let's skip a day. Sun. 10-13-02

2008-12-15T11:46:00.009-06:00

On Saturday, Brett got a pan! We hadn't been able to cook anything that whole time! Brett cooked us a meal w/our new pan at the park entrance on a park grill. We went to a farmer's market, & the night before hung out at Cassie's place w/ her, Mariah & some other girl. I wrote that it was gettin' real cold at night, but that it was still warm & cloudless during the day. Now we'll start w/Sunday...

We went up to the tree early. Like 3:30 or somethin'. I go down to pee & when I come back up, Brett & this guy are jammin'. Brett on his sax & this guy on his guitar. Actually, they had just finished jammin' 'cause some lady came & asked them to stop 'cause there were students tryin' to record the sound of the forest. Brett told her what she was askin' was wrong & that they were the sound of the forest then, but they gave the lady her 5 min. of silence anyway. This guy- named Heat or somethin'- he packed us both our own bowls & the three of us sat on top of the huge tree stump near our tree. After we got high- Heat didn't even smoke any- the three of us jammed, this time my viola involved. We took turns switchin' off w/the instruments. Then Heat left & Brett later went back down to cook more for us & I read my book 'till it was too dark & Brett returned w/the food. It's morning now & I'm sittin' w/our **** by one of the grills, gatherin' wood & just stopped to write all this quick. Brett went to get us some breakfast (oatmeal maybe? Soy milk!) Oh- & Brett really wants to at least try & bike to San Fran. I have to think about what I want to do.

I hear some ***holes yellin'. Some guy is shouting to another about - he's gonna' "kick his ***. Come down here punk*** "& **** like that. Sounds just like a ******' man! I think he even said somethin' like, "this is MY town." Anyway, I pull out my viola & walk in the field which is near the parking lot where this is happenin'. I play real loud & obnoxious so I don't have to hear this ****. These big boys tryin' to prove their ****-strength. As I'm playin', I stop once in a while & it's a little quieter now. I mean, this guy was just yellin' so loud & evil. I see him & two others walk out, like- "Come on man!" I yell to 'em-"BIG BOYS! Real strong!"- or somethin', I can't remember. They look at me wailin' my bow around. I walk back to the bench & put my arms, like I'm flexin' & go, "UH!" Brett's back w/the food.

After I come out of the grocery store from *******', Brett tells me some guy told him about the church that's right behind us (we never knew) that's about to serve a meal & coffee at 1:00. Sittin' at a table w/Brett & two other guys. One obviously sped. 5 other guys at the next table. No other girls. Drinkin' 2nd cup of coffee, eatin' an apple pie thing. Had 3 little chocolate doughnuts & the guy behind the counter's cookin' some spinach pie-type things. Yum. Only wish I had a joint.

Fri. 10-11-02

2008-12-08T16:48:00.009-06:00

Brett & I sat in the hot sun yesterday, drinking coffee & writing poetry at the plaza. Then we moved to the marsh & continued writing & sharing it all w/each other. We're kinda' plannin' on doin' an open mic at Jacoby's Storehouse. I can't- oh yeah- it's on Monday. The day before we might leave. Anyway, I'm sittin' in the laundromat in this dirty hippie dress I took from Cassie (she was gettin' rid of clothes) & I'm gonna' throw it away soon. I've got a few pages left of my book,as well as in this notebook. So I've gotta' buy a new notebook & Sexual Politics & find room for it all. Brett's gettin' change for the machines to eat up.

- I'll skip just a bit here. As a small note for this day, I wrote ("Funny how freaked out we were of the giant crickets!) These things would only come out at night. We never saw them in the tree during the day. But whenever we woke up at night to go to the bathroom, they would be all over the inside wall of the tree. Just sitting there, looking at us. I always thought they were wondering who in the world we were & what we were doing in their home! I described them as spider crickets. They looked like a mix of the two, & they were very large, with very big back legs. Brett always chose to climb the inside wall of the tree & pee off the top. I would hold our flashlight for him, so he could be sure not to touch one! I chose to crawl out the little doorway. Ya had to get down on yr hands & knees & really crawl for a bit, to squeeze yrself out. Brett would then hold the flashlight for me, to make sure I wasn't rubbing my back against the things! They were polite hosts though, all they did was look at us. They never hurt us or came near us. At least not that we know of! -

Some guy at the laundromat starts talkin' to us about our instruments, music & I let him play my viola a little. Then he shares somethin' w/us that has just blown his mind. A buncha' **** about how life is a never ending cycle. Okay- no ****. That's cool. He's talkin' all this crazy science ****, that- yeah- is knowledge- but he's missing the main *******, important thing that ******' links it all together. GOD! & he's cool. We tell him that no-God isn't a ******' 3 letter word, you know? Words are words, & sometimes they can't explain ****! I tell him I'd rather read the bible. Just so he knows where I stand. You know? Um... & yeah, Brett's right. He's lookin' for God, but he just doesn't know it.Well, God's lookin' for him too. & I'm just frustrated that we couldn't be those messengers for God. That I don't know my bible well enough, to open it up to something that'll let him know. That'll blow his mind.I mean, I just feel so bad for the guy. & he tells us, when we're leavin', to spread the word. SPREAD WHAT ******' WORD!? The only word we should be spreadin', is GOD"S. Not pointless **** that only leads up to God.Spread the raw ***** man. But he kinda' got it. I mean, the three of us weren't arguing w/each other or anything. No, no yellin'. Anyways, I just bought my book. 3 bucks & 78 cents. We're goin' to Mariah's later, so Brett's gettin' some food to cook. & some blank tapes so we can record some good music she has. I'm gonna' read.

We're at Mariah's. I came back from going to buy some fruit & Brett's on the phone w/Kit. He had called for Mariah, but she's not here. Kit's supposedly gonna' be here on Tuesday- the day we plan on leaving. So Kit tells Brett he dropped out of school & is deciding between a million things things to do w/his life right now & that he's gonna' go back to be a lawyer or some ****, even though he loves writing & he's got like one semester left of English. & that no! we shouldn't go to L.A. & live on sailboat. -Kit!- you've done that w/Brett already! What do you mean don't!? Huh? He says what Brett & I are doin' is good. Somethin' strange. So Brett says, "Dude, then get a bike & do it w/ me & Cristy." "No man, I gotta' go back to school."

& he's renting an apt. w/ Eric. & he tells us we should come BACK! WHAT KIT? I'm sad because I think he's losing his mind. Turnin' into somebody else. I'd like to think that if we stayed a while longer- which would just suck to do, I wanna' move again!- I could sit him down & talk w/him. But Brett says there's no common ground when talkin' to him (which I experienced w/ their last little bout). Unless maybe you tie him to a chair & put a rag around his mouth. But I think I could get SOMETHING through to him!

Wed & Thurs 10-9 & 10-10, 2002 Just a Summary

2008-12-08T16:33:00.006-06:00

We never stayed up all night. The next day I finally got a throw away camera. I wrote about how late it was to have a camera, because of all the beautiful stuff we had already seen. But I figured it was all in our heads...we could paint or draw it all if we ever wanted to share it. The next day Mariah talked to Kit & he said he didn't have Augustino's number. That was the guy in southern cali that bought Brett & Kit's small sailboat when they were out there the first time. I don't remember exactly why we wanted to get a hold of him at this time. I don't remember already wanting a sailboat. Although I always had some strange passion for sailboats that was always very vague.

Tue. 10-8-02

2008-12-03T10:48:00.003-06:00

Just woke up & went out of the tree for a pee. I've got my toilet paper buried everywhere. Last night when we got in here, before we smoked up, Brett pulls out a snickers. Yay! A yummy surprise. Then he says, "too bad we're eating this now, 'cause we'll want one after we smoke," as he pulls out another one. Yay! (writing this now, I can't believe how much of our time was spent "smoking up!" Thanks Lord, for freeing me from this waste of time!!)

We got our free bread for the day & go up the hill to the bus stop to fix my tire, 'cause the thing's ruined. Brett decides to go get his tire that he left by the school to use on my bike. He comes back & tells me about the real nice tire he saw for 10 bucks. I hand him money & he goes to get it. Then the tire pump breaks, so then Brett busts it over his leg & he's on his way to get another one I think. I'm sittin' here drinkin' the jug of juice we bought. We still gotta' go to the library, which is right next to us, & we got a late start this morning anyway. Oh well. We're gonna' see how much Amtrak tickets are from here to San Fran., & from San Fran. to L.A. & then decide what we wanna' do. 'cause we're not waitin' around for Kit anymore. Maybe not even the Lou Barlow show in Eureka.

We went to the library & figured out that, well, actually, we've got a reservation #- so um, if we want, we can leave a week from today (the 15th) on a bus to Martinez (above Oakland) 36 bucks each & $36 more each from there. Then take a train to Bakersfield (which is 2hrs & 45 min. away from L.A.) but then, we could also take a bus to L.A. from there, or just bike. So if we do this, we might be able to still see Kit & go to the show this Sunday. So- we still don't know! We're not even sure if there'd be room for our bikes. 90% chance? But I'm down. We found some abandoned building that's got some people livin' in it & smoked some. Now we're sittin' by the Safeway, drinkin' soy, coffee & eatin' bread. Maybe stay up all night??

Continued writings from the marsh on 10-10-02

2008-12-01T09:32:00.002-06:00

Basking in the sun so long
Writing, writing, spewing
Getting up & riding my bike
Completely numb
From the continued warmth &
Deep gold that seeped
Into my brain
Through my lips & burnt lids
I'll taste it all at
Any moment & sporadically
Throw it away, on whims, on some
Accident of
My mind. & I'll still
Knowingly suffocate myself in this
Life of being. I'm scared to death, & I'm
Overwhelmed w/joy.

Finally...I bought a throw away camera!

2008-11-30T17:14:00.010-06:00

Me ready for bed! Brett climbed to the top & took this pic from the opening of the tree.

Beautiful morning in the redwoods!

This is where we climbed in & out. The piece of wood you see to the right, was placed over the opening once we were inside.

Brett & I at the entrance to the redwood forest. A friend we met (Seth- who will later be in our story again) took this picture. This was actually our last day in Arcata. Notice the mace on my belt loop!

This is how we traveled. Mine is the bike in front. I was usually the "bag lady". Everything we had with us is in this pic. Except Brett's saxophone, which he kept in his Timbuktu, over his shoulders. The National Redwood Forest is in the background. This was the day we biked forever, looking for the ocean.

High at the marsh on a stump 10-10-02

2008-11-30T15:40:00.004-06:00

I'm in some surreal world
But really I'm not
It's still called October here
The leaves are still burning
Orange, yellow, red
Burning & reaching my nostrils
I'm calling from some other place
But the sun & the moon
Are still sharing the sky
I feel I'm out
But am still surrounded
In warmth, in green
& also
The air thick with too much evil
Too little love

I left & am now
Living
Like you said
So much more
Everyday

Day?
What's in a day?
My day's the dirt & rare coffee
Flying down the hill every morning now
So fast the air
Whips by & I'm
Bawling
The air has blinded me, me laughing hysterically

& you're here
We've left. We're gone
But still there
'Cause it's God
& God is always there

In the bugs & the tree &
The gold on yr skin. The
Life in your eyes
Never failing
Like the sun always eventually
Making it's appearance

But wait. Wait!
Let's be still
Not move for hours, for
Anyone, anything
Let's be here but be gone
Minds entwined
To create

& love God

Some writings done while in Arcata....

2008-11-28T10:41:00.003-06:00

This writing was done at the free food place. The first time we went there to eat.

More people pilin' in but I just wanna' stay in my box gettin' louder now tryin' to keep to-with-in-myself coffee gettin' a little cooled off drink it up & get some more they've all obviously been here before maybe every day wanna' be sittin' amongst warm colored trees with leaves flyin' down next to me playin' guitar & still inside my box my mind now I hear a piano didn't know there was one 'cause I've never been here before someone playin' it around the corner can't see but can definitely hear drink it in some guy is overwhelmed by the saxophone it seems & I want more coffee now on my third cup & the man around the corner is unfortunately playin' **** I've heard a million times before smells stale rotten lovely some other man is singin' loud beautiful deep dark man don't know where the one person I know has gone but I continue to write as another man joins in the vocal sounds oh- the one I know is back & for some reason the people across us are kissin' on eachother sun shinin' through the curtains for some reason I suddenly smile.

Sun 10-6-02

2008-11-11T15:58:00.012-06:00

Chilled at Mariah's from like noon-4 (she had to work), made our last box of Annie's & got high a few times. Our breakfast this morning was apples (not yet ripe) from some tree. After Mariah's, we went behind some building to see if we couldn't set up the tent for a second try. We had tried the night before. Then I bought us some "herbavore" pizza. Mushies, tomatoes, artichoke hearts, peppers. It was **** good. We waited half an hour for it & right as I was going to get it, Brett says he's goin' for a walk. So I get the pizza & start eating. I thought maybe Brett was just goin' to pee, but it was takin' forever, so then I thought maybe he went to get some soy to drink. Anyway, he came back & I guess he was on the building we were sitting under. So he was right above me the whole time. But um, while I was sittin' there by myself, eating, I imagined someone (or some people) comin' up to me & asking for some pizza. I imagined how much I would not want to give any up, because I was enjoying it so much. Then, whaddaya' know- some kid walks up & asks for a piece in exchange for a tape or something! I gave him a piece of mine & we took up his offer & he gave us a tape of live Grateful Dead. As he left & said, "Well, I gotta' head up to my camp," I thought- wouldn't that be ****** up if he was the dude that took the tree!? Cause I had a feeling he was. Then Brett says somethin' like, "That was the guy in the tree yesterday." & we both freak out & head up to the tree as fast as we could. But we also stopped at a grocery & Brett got some soy & bought us a banana & 2 candy bars. We got to sleep in the tree! We listened to that tape & it was SO nice for a while, 'cause we haven't listened to music all that much lately. We freaked out earlier, listening to Goo at Mariah's.

Just saw some weird **** as I was waitin' for Brett to get our coffee. Some kid posted some **** on the door of the building & me & some woman were readin' it- now I'm over hearin' some girl talk about it.- Anyway, the students (to register) have to have their fingerprnts & photographs taken & something else, for international security reasons. & if they don't comply, they get punished- loss of financial aid & somethin' else. I can't remember. Then there's like 3 seals on it. One of the white house & president Bush is the signer. Although it's typed. The woman was like, "I'd see if it's legit." Whatever. I think the end MIGHT be beginning!

I guess we're ******* bombing Iraq! ******! No!!! It ******* sucks & I feel rotten for living in America. I guess also, that one of the reasons Bush gave his national televised speech, was that, well, he (or one of 'em-or some ****) tried to kill my daddy once. WHAT THE ****!? That's THE most selfish reason for going over & bombing, KILLING a million innocent people. In God we trust my ******* ***! Mariah ran into us & I guess there's gonna' be some rally at noon. A lotta' ******' good that's gonna' do. Brett & I were just about to smoke a bowl, but he had to go to the bathroom, so now I'm waitin' in between some trees, watchin' our things. I hope my mom ain't freakin' out. She probably will once I call her. She'll probably want me to come home. I'm not.

I just finished praying. I'm watching our stuff again. Brett said he had to go back. He had something to say. "What if you don't come back?" I ask. "Just pray," he says. So I did. We went to the rally. Good poetry. A bad band. Brett commented on a poster that read: There's a terrorist behind every Bush. Then he laughed & said, there's 2 of 'em behind us. I looked at the 2 men that didn't seem to fit in. All suited up & ****. A girl walks up to the mic. Brett says, "see, look at 'em." & he starts to walk up to the mic. I follow. One of the men tries to move the woman. To shove her over. She gets on the mic. The man does too. Brett walks up & turns off the mic. He says something but I can't hear him. The man says, "I'm the FBI." Brett looks at the crowd & points to the man & says "FBI, FBI!" I shout, "We're not gonna' listen to you!" Some hippie man grabs Brett like, "NO! Let him speak. Let him dig his own grave." We turn around to leave, me shouting "Blah, blah, blah!" Now we're sitting in the woods & Brett's pissed because he says he didn't do what he was supposed to do for God. He says he heard one of the dudes behind us doin' a mantra. Sayin' the **** under his breath. He says we were there in that same corner of them 'cause he was supposed to **** w/him. Which he did spiritually. Tellin' him he's gonna' burn in hell forever & how does it feel? The guy heard him spiritually. So now Brett's freakin' out & I'm kinda' scared & this town is TOO small! Brett said when he went back there, there were cops all over & the people weren't even talkin' about it anymore. They were talkin' 'bout lesbian rights or somethin'. Brett says the girl they stopped probably had a mark on her. Was probably on their list for other reasons & that gave them the reason to stop her. The **** the one guy started saying... "This is a theatre group, it's all staged..." Brett says he's heard before. Anyway, I gotta' stop writing now.

We're back at the marsh. The place w/all the trees to sit on. We got high & now Brett's playin' some crazy sax & I just got done pickin' blackberries & havin' a treat. On our way out of the woods, some guy walked by us. We had changed shirts. (Well, Brett did. I just took my glasses off & put a scarf on my head.) Anyway, this guy looked just like the youngest cop in this town. & he was walkin' like a cop & had the glasses on. & now I'm just hopin' I can take us out soon, to the vegetarian cuisine place.

Brett came & picked berries w/me. He kept callin' 'em blueberries & so I kept correcting him. We smoked more & left. On our way to the veggie place, Brett stopped to see the hours of the place we get free food from. They were open, he got bread. I got bread. Then we biked to Safeway & got some **** to put on the bread. Bread, bread, bread! Blah blah------weeeeeeeeee! (& we had snickers) :)

Sat. 10-05-02

2008-09-29T11:43:00.005-05:00

Well, we're kinda' sad 'cause our place where we get SUPER good coffee at for $.75 is closed Sat.'s & Sun.'s. Yesterday when Brett came back out , he said that Mariah had told him the Food not Bombs people were down at the plaza. Free food!! Yay! We bike down there & see all these people w/signs about No War! No Blood for Oil! & ****. We bike in & through & notice another group of people all in black on the opposite side of the plaza, facing- I dunno'- facin' somethin' lookin' the other way. In complete silence the whole time. Don't know exactly what that was about. Anyway, we got super yummy veggie soup & treats & salad & bread. We sat down & listened to the drum circle near us. Soon we left for the tree & smoked some before we went to sleep.

Brett didn't tell me, but I guess Mariah told him about the Framer's Market goin' on today. It's extremely sunny- no clouds & we're sittin' on the grass now. We already walked around & looked at ****. Including the pastel art people are doin' all the way around the plaza on the sidewalk. We had coffee & some good **** that was left over from yesterday. There's lots of people here & a band playin' cheesy-happy music. I feel high. Gonna' read my book.

I kinda' feel like I could be here forever. Brett & I are exploring the Redwoods. A million parts of it we haven't seen it seems. At first we were on the paths (because this is the community forest) & came down to the valley of the woods & walked over 3 bridges that were built over the small creek. & because the trees are so overwhelmingly big, I felt like we were in another world. So surreal, like Brett said. Fairyland I thought. & it was so strange, while we were walking, to look up & see the familiar sun in the sky. Like it didn't belong here. We sat down & noticed the whole ground we were on was covered in webs. Spots where the sun hit, it sparkled like the sea. I think I might be enjoying it a bit more maybe, then I would if we hadn't smoked that hash w/some girl- Sara I think- near the entrance of the forest. W/ others. It's so strange, the homes the trees seem to make w/ their hollowed out trunks. It's beautiful. I just wish I could paint them. Brett's out exploring the valley area a little more while I sit w/ our things. Some one's in the tree as of now, so we might need a new sleeping spot tonight.

I went up to the tree, opened the "door" & asked if they were gonna' be in there all night. I asked twice w/no answer returned. So we walked together some more looking for a spot. We're assuming maybe the person in the tree might be there all night after Brett saw them poke their head over. Now I'm sittin' w/our **** again & just wanted to write about how the roots of these trees pop up to the surface of the paths like snakes & bones. I hope we find a spot soon. The sun's leaving for the night.

i'll summarize...

2008-08-30T15:40:00.006-05:00

So the next day we found the ocean after about a 2 hour bike ride. Brett also got busted by the cops doing a tag at the bank. I was so mad. They made me empty my backpack out while I yelled at them. They probably thought I was a crazy girl, & regretted bothering us. I fumed at them. The day after this we hung out at a girl named cassie's ( Mariah's friend), found a free food place & met a woman in her 30's or 40's named Sunflower who was going around carrying a big 'ole chunk of cardboard, askin' people if they wanted to sign Janis Joplin's B-day card. Sayin', "I got her picture in there too." (In where!?) This day we just moved from spot to spot drawing & playing music, sittin' in a cove of trees in the marsh area.

Wed. 10-2-02

2008-08-22T09:39:00.006-05:00

It was dark when we finally got in the woods. We slept kinda' out in the open, but we were safe. This mornin' Brett found- out of many- a dead redwood trunk. It either is, or was someone's home. (I'm sure it was just used as a smoke out place. When we first entered, there was nothing but an ashtray inside) It's ******* huge! & there's a small piece of (what looks like) driftwood covering a small opening to enter it by. We're gonna' scope it out tonight from about 6 to 8 or so.

It's afternoon sometime & we're back in the redwoods w/our **** & some food. Brett's goin' down to check out the tree, 'cause I saw a sweater by it (that's gone now) & heard some noises when I went to the bathroom. On my way up, this little boy asked if I wanted to play guns & Indians or somethin' (cowboys & Indians maybe). & when I told him that I had to meet a friend, but that I'd think about it (after he just wouldn't leave me alone) he told me "Okay. But we're gonna' start in 10 minutes." & "You don't know what yr missin' out on. You have no idea." This little like, 7 or 8 yr old. Anyway- we did some **** today. Tried to get a hold of Mariah & went to her house- hopin' to get some weed, but she wasn't there. So we chill at the University for a while. They're havin' this anti-hate thing (this town has pretty much brought us back to the 60's, 70's) & we get free chips, cookies, pop & we heat up some soup I bought in their food area. (Where we also got free soy milk) After that, we start on our way to the redwoods & meet a girl named Cassie. We sit w/her in the woods & she smokes 3 or 4 good bowls w/us while we talk. We tell her what we're doin' & she talks comfortably about what she's doin' & would like to do. Finish a semester & sail to either Hawaii, New Zealand, or South America & work on an organic farm & live there. She gave us hugs & was real nice. She came from NY & just loved it here. In hippie ville-haha.

Sitting in the redwoods w/the sun on me from a beam & lookin' up at the sparklin' green of the redwoods that when lookin' at 'em, force you to strain yr neck the same way you do when you look up at a tall-*** building. We just ate an early supper or late lunch: split pea, tomato, onion sandwiches & 2 big organic carrots. Brett went to get some more water & I'm sittin' by our ****, scopin' out the tree, seein' if anyone enters. It's beautiful in here- the big, old-*** stumps make some awesome-lookin' nooks sometimes. I think I'm gonna' read my book some more.

Tue. 10-1-02

2008-08-20T16:27:00.006-05:00

We got Mariah's # from Andrew & Brett called her. (Half the students here bike or take the bus- I looove it) Anyway, she gave us directions & we chilled w/her & a friend out on their porch drinkin' beer & smokin'. We haven't gotten high for about 3 weeks. She let us sleep on her bed! We felt bad, but BRETT accepted. I took a shower this mornin' & played some music w/Brett & now all the girls are at college & we're cookin' our noodles we've had for a while & listenin' to Bob Dylan. I think we're meetin' Mariah at noon for lunch. I guess Andrew's comin' here to live w/Mariah in 2 weeks. & Kit is supposedly comin' in 2 weeks too. I think we're gonna' camp out somewhere in the redwoods until then at least.

We had really good vegan corn soup w/bread & Mariah went back toward the college. Brett's buyin' some reeds & a cleaner for his sax. The guy at the store, after seein' my viola, told me they were rare/hard to find, & wanted to trade me it, for a new violin. But it's only $150.00, so it's probably a crappy one. To get it restrung costs too much for me, & they wouldn't even be using viola strings. Anyway, some one's playin' real beautiful violin up in the top part of the music building. I hope to play that well some day. But Brett's out now, so I'd like to go to the bookstore(s).

I bought a book! Bad, bad...good me! Women of the Beat Generation. We're gonna' try & find a cheap place to buy some food I think, before we go into the woods/hills. I think we might chill at a spot for a couple days? So we need some food. No more traveler's cheques left! Just a little cash & my check card! $2,186.00 or somethin' like that, left in my account.

? Next day

2008-08-13T15:42:00.002-05:00

It was a sunny day. Curtis bought us veggie sandwiches & we ate them on the beach, then we biked around & he gave us a tour of Crescent City. We stopped & bought a couple innertubes & then went to his house. He ended up buying us 2 super good veggie pizzas (we biked to get them) & let us sleep in their extra room. We did more bible study & Brett took a shower. Curtis & his parents gave us a ride to a little past Klamath I think & we biked to Trinidad. Then we took a bus to Arcata! We're here!! I'm sitting on a hill on the campus & Brett is walkin' around to see if he can spot Mariah & find a phone. Oh- Curt's dad made us these extremely good-for-you smoothies & some breakfast. (Note- If we wouldn't have met Curtis, & they never gave us a ride, it would've been a very dangerous ride out of there. The road had no shoulder, it was all up hill, & it was a major timber trucking route. Thank you God! Thank you Curtis!)

Sun. 9-29-02 ?

2008-08-09T12:49:00.002-05:00

We biked to Crescent City, California yesterday! & we slept back in a section of "nature trails". Brett got a flat tire, so we walk out this morning & set all our stuff down & sit outside a theatre place. Waitin' for our stuff to dry 'cause we got rained on pretty bad. We drink some coffee we know we can get for free from this grocery outlet place we shopped at yesterday. We go to the bathroom & stuff & while Brett's buying us some cheap organic juice, I'm reading my bible & the guy who works at the theatre bikes up & says hello. Then, as he walks in, he says to have a good day. Brett comes back & I go to the bathroom again & as I walk back I see the guy talkin' to Brett & there's two bags full of popcorn by him. I sit down & the three of us talk about God & scripture for about a half hour or so. & as the the man leaves to meet a friend, he asks if we'll be here in an hour to have lunch w/him. "Sure", we say. So now Brett has to fix his tire & we have to get all our stuff packed away. & it suddenly looks like it's gonna' be a sunny day!

Fri. 9-27-02

2008-08-03T15:39:00.002-05:00

I've skipped the entry for Thurs. We biked 20 miles, & made it a short day. We made it to the next campsite.

We woke up 'cause some guy woke us up & made us pay. We fed him some bull****, payed & bought ourselves some espresso drinks & a muffin & scone. All our **** is soaked! It didn't rain, it just poured mist on us. We got woken up at 8:00 & now it's 9:30 & our **** is still wet 'cause the sun isn't out. We're plannin' on bikin' about 35, 36 miles today.

Well! We just rode the bus to Brookings for 6 bucks each! It's sometime in the afternoon & we're about 5 miles or so to the border of Cali!

Brett & I just pulled a John & Yoko. He wrote a song & I helped.

(Song)
Dreamin' of a world that has changed for the worse
Unfriendly visitor in my slumber, kicks at the tarp
He's got a badge, clipboard & a truck
Tellin' me I need to pay for the dirt where I slept
It's Mezcal in the morning & all my **** is wet
Borrowed some paper to make my dream into a map
Every day is me & my bike
The Holy Book is my yawn & stretch
Readin' at the top of my lungs
Cause there's this horrible music in my head
The people underground are playin' it
Last night's supper was pure chocolate
Same as today's breakfast & lunch
Brush the sand off my sleeves & the guitar
When the R.V.s get fired up
Mezcal in the morning & all my **** is wet
Is it me, or am I a bum w/good luck

Wed. 9-25-02

2008-07-28T10:57:00.002-05:00

Brett says his tonsils are worse & he wants to go to the hospital. Hopefully he won't change his mind.

**** the hospital here. We got there a little before- well, got there around 12:00-12:15. They got his paper work done & we waited some more. Oh- & a doc gave him a throat culture. Anyway, finally a doc comes out & brings us back to a room. He looks at us & all our luggage like we don't belong there. He has me wait outside as he prepares to give Brett a throat culture. "Have you ever had one?" he asks.
"About 20 minutes ago," says Brett.
Then the doc's like "Oh". & he leaves the room & tells me, "Okay, you can go in now." & mumbles something like, "but it's crowded as it is," or "There's little room already." Or some ****. So I go in & there's plenty of ******* room. The next hour & a half- close to 2 hours actually, we're waiting. No one comes. Finally some doc steps up & says "yr in no hurry right? We're just gettin' bombed." We're like ah... So soon I go out & ask if they take people in the order they arrive, & I guess they don't. He says "A sore throat is pretty low on the list. Sorry." I wanted to spit in his ugly face. We're dealing w/more than a sore throat. Brett might need his tonsils out right away. But anyway- I just said thanx & go back in to Brett. We decide to leave & by this time it's 3:00 & we still have a bike ride ahead of us. I'm way too pissed to just leave w/out saying anything- so I walk back in & tell (w/ tears) the lady at the front desk that we waited for 2 hours w/out any help from anyone & that it's more than just a sore throat & is there a hospital in Bandon? 'Cause we're on bikes & that's our next stop.

Anyway- enough of that bull****. We stuffed ourselves at a Mexican restaraunt & biked to Sunset Bay State Park & we're campin' out. Brett got us some Red Hook ESB- 6 pack- & some Mezcal con Gusano 100% Agave (Monte Alban). We're CHILLIN!

Tue. 9-24-02

2008-07-20T10:10:00.002-05:00

We stayed at a campsite w/some Austrians. Got high on Vicodin & crashed. This mornin' Brett woke up & after lookin' at his tonsills, decided to call his mom. They were huge, red & puss was comin' out all over 'em. (They're still lookin' the same.) They talked for a while. Even discussing whether or not we'd need to return home & have them removed, because the doctors there (his mom was workin' at the hospital) were sayin' it was life or death. & Brett has no insurance here, so he's be $30,000 in debt if he got it done at some hospital here. We decide to bike to Coos Bay anyway because Brett doesn't want this to stop him. He says he doesn't care if he dies. & so I cry all mornin' until we leave because I don't want him to die & I know I can't change his mind. (I also went into the biff at the campsite & prayed over & over that Brett would be okay. I don't know why I didn't write this in my journal. I remember it very well)

So we biked today, about 30 miles (& Brett got a flat tire!). We stopped in Coos Bay & Brett bought us a pizza & I called & talked to my dad- who is now MARRIED! & now, although we got about 2 miles from the Sunset Bay campsite, I bought us a motel room again 'cause it's wet out tonight & I want Brett to get good sleep & to stay dry. Goodnight.

Mon. 9-23-02

2008-07-19T12:09:00.004-05:00

We found a campsite & stayed for free again. It was about five miles south of Florence. We met some other bikers (from Vancouver) & a guy maned Lee. They were all real nice. My cramps had gotten real bad on the way to the campsite, but I didn't want to spend money on a motel again. So once we got to the site, I took a nice, long, hot shower. It made me feel a little better. That night Brett got a lot sicker though. He was burnin' up real bad & had the shakes. I think he thought he was gonna' die. & I was real worried about him. So we walked slowly to the showers & he took one in the girl's bathroom as I stood outside the stall. I tried to make him take a cold one, but he wouldn't. Afterwards while we were layin' in our sleeping bags again, I kept a cold hanky on his forehead that I put cold water on. It warmed up so fast! (slugster was all curled up on it in the mornin', like a little puppy! -eeeu!)

The next day we decided to get a motel & have a rest day. He definitely couldn't bike anywhere. We ended up back here in Florence. I bought him some warm food & a bunch of Gatorade & some vitamin c cough drops. We watched cartoons & then I walked all the way down the street on both sides & checked every single restaurant & none had soup w/out meat. Of course! All we wanted was soup! So I got some other **** instead. After a while his fever got real bad again, so we went to the doctor. It was right down the road! They drew blood, gave him a throat culture & gave him a shot in the ***. Some Penicillin & Vicodin. He was real happy about the Vicodin & when we got back to the motel, we took some & lay on the bed, watchin' some movie & feelin' good.

Anyway, he prob'ly has to get his tonsills out when he returns home. It's Monday mornin' now & we might take a bus to Coos Bay! Hopefully they have a bike rack. Oh- my dad got married yesterday! ****!! It's so weird to think! I'm SO happy for him!

Um, well, we had to bike because the bus (that we never saw) had no bike rack. So now we're in Reedsport & we tried to get free food at a place a guy on a bus once told us, but it didn't work. So now we're lookin' at a grocery store. I think we've only got 5 miles or so to a campground. Although it's still early.

Sat. 9-20-02

2008-07-08T21:10:00.002-05:00

Yesterday we rode the bus to Yachats. But on the bus we had to transfer on, there was already a bike on the bike rack. Room for one more. The bus driver worried about puttin' 2 on the one rack w/ bungees, 'cause the man who made the thing was on the bus! But our other bus driver helped us & I prayed & all was good. I sang songs all the way here.

When we got here we checked out a motel that lady told us night be the cheapest, but the guy only had 2 bedrooms left- & they were 59 bucks. So we said thank u & started bikin' around lookin' for a spot to sleep. We couldn't. & so we decided, it was either head down 101 & look for a spot, or check out a motel again (the man had told us about another one to look at). It was gonna' be dark soon & we were a little frustrated or whatever, 'cause we didn't know what God was tellin' us to do. So we were tryin' to figure it out. Brett was mostly worried about our safety & I suddenly strongly felt like spendin' any amount of money didn't matter. So we decided to look at the Dublin House motel.

Brett walked in the office waiting patiently for the woman to finish dealing w/ the other people. & I sat outside, not so patiently. He waved me away, 'cause he wanted to say 1 person to get it cheapest. But a man who worked there, walked in & told the lady there were 2 of us (after Brett had said 1) while Brett was waitin' outside. They didn't think he heard them, so when he went back inside, the lady asked him again..."Okay, now did you say 1, or 2 people?"
Brett was like, "Well, there's 2 of us, but we sleep together, so I count it as one."
She said, "Okay. Well, I've got the perfect room for you." Starts tellin' him, stove, showers, fridge, t.v., kitchen, bathroom, bedroom. Brett's thinkin' damn! I'm not tryin' to spend a hundred bucks! She says, "40 bucks."
"Oh that'd be perfect," he says. "We didn't make it as far as we should've & I'm on a real tight budget."
So he pays & comes to get me, 'cause I'm hidin' behind the pool area.

The room was like a ******* small apartment! We got settled & went to the grocery store to get some food to cook. Hot food! :) Yay! On our way out (we got noodles, tortillas & bananas), Brett asked this girl where we could score some bud. She had rode the bus w/us. She had some. Her & her friend saw we didn't have much money & they'd smoke us up for free. We walked w/them to this girl's house & then walked w/a bunch of kids to some woods & smoked about 3 or 4 bowls of nugget. On the way there, we see some graffiti on the street & find out one of the girls we're w/did it. Brett was happy!

So we got high, said thanks & returned to cook our food. Brett got pretty sick during the night, but he took some IB Profen & he's a little better today. Oh! & we got free coffee to make at the motel! We bought some breakfast this morning, ate, checked out & now we're leaving the beach after playin' music. I think we're on our way again.

We've reached Florence. We biked about, well, almost 30 miles so far. The scenery was the best so far. All along the ocean. Cloudless sky. Sea lions below. Big grassy hills like Scotland. The Pacific sparkled like snow sometimes! Not THAT bad of a bike ride. At one point while we rested, I got my period. Kinda' sux. My cramps are just startin' now, but they ain't so bad, 'cause I haven't eatin' any sweets. But I did have coffee! Oh well. Brett's still sick & he has athlete's foot, but he still bikes 30 miles w/out a complaint. Unlike me!

Oregon, Thurs. 9-19-02

2008-07-06T16:11:00.000-05:00

We're doin' our laundry finally! It's goin' on 11:00 am & we're in Pacific City, OR waitin' for a Mexican restaurant to open. We got here mostly by bus yesterday. But we also biked 15 miles or so. Once we stopped at a scenic overview & a few hippie kids our age gave us some real good weed, & a bunch of organic food. 2 bananas, orange, apple, carrot, & a vegan wrap. They were from Portland.

I called Lynz from Astoria & my dad from here. We slept for free again last night, under a patch of small pine trees on big sand dunes right by the ocean. We set out our beds & I go pee & come back & Brett has a box of veggie thins & a bottle of Chardonnay laid out. Yay! We smoke, drink & eat & when it's all dark go out on the sand dune & look out at the ocean & the huge rock that pierces through it. It was foggy & beautiful. Brett tells me about when he & Kit lived on the sailboat. Tells me about Augustino & how they learned to sail it. & how something drew him back home & he never went back (to Kit & the sailboat). Then he says sittin' on the bus today lookin' out the window was worth not goin' back. Just half the day was worth it. Anyway, Kit ended up gettin' rid of it & comin' back too. I tell him hey, yr on yr way back now. & he says, no, I'm not. I nod. & I know exactly what he means.

Then he told me about his grandpa who died & then we start talkin' about God. & soon go to bed & wake up to the Pacific Ocean again this morning at 8:30. Anyway- I guess we have to bike far again to reach the next bus. Hopefully no more than 50 miles! (Brett wrote) -The Mexican food was the best. (I paid cause Cristy is my special lover girlfriend super duper space cadet pal).

Part of a Journal Entry, Wed. 9-18-02

2008-07-04T14:53:00.000-05:00

We biked almost 53 miles yesterday & I had 2 asthma attacks. But anyway, we checked out one campsite & it was too much, so we bought some food. Then we headed back down the street & stayed at a different campsite that also has showers & it's pretty much free, 'cause no one's on duty. We watched the sun go down over the ocean as we sat on a cliff eatin' p.j. sandwiches & drank milk. It got cold last night & it's chilly this mornin'. Maybe we just need to get in the sunshine. We're less than 50 miles from the Oregon border already! I think we're gonna' bike halfway today. Brett's a ******* freak. & I gave him a cold sore! HA HA. & I just went to get my coffee at the kinda' cafe where they play country music outta' their boom box & the woman who works there has a long cigarette hangin' outta' her mouth. & Brett played his sax, as some old people came outta' their homes to listen.

Tue. 9-17-02

2008-06-30T15:59:00.000-05:00

Well, we didn't get poured on & we never had to pay the 6 bucks. We just biked over 25 miles. I had a short asthma attack. I've never had one like that. Actually, I've never really had one I don't think. But anyway, before we left, we went over to the Pacific Ocean. My first time seein' it. We both walked topless. The only other people walkin' were too far away to really notice. The scenery along the way (we're in Raymond now) was ******* beautiful! The ocean, huge hills covered w/ trees, big puffy white clouds & blue sky. Now we're sittin' in some small park, drank tons of water, Brett's eatin' again & I'm done writin' for now. We're gonna' try & bike another 20 miles. (side notes)- As we ate our breakfast at some small grocery (bread, jalapeno chips, olives, cheese, kidney beans- all together) some man w/2 little dogs, Chomper & Julie, talked w/us & gave Brett 10 bucks! - Called my gram. Gonna' try to call more people. - Biggest slug I've ever seen on our tarp at the campsite!

Mon. 9-16-02

2008-06-30T11:08:00.000-05:00

Yesterday we wasted time (not by choice) & by nightfall we just couldn't find anywhere to sleep. So finally- I don't even know where we were- I bought us a night in a motel. We got to take a couple- or a few?- hot showers! Now it's rainin' a little bit & cold & we're on a bus to Olympia. Our bikes are on the bike rack. It's almost 1:00pm. We had some cereal this mornin'.

We found out we could take a bus to Aberdeen. So we did! We biked over the Wishka- & the banks are muddy! Then we got a large cheese pizza at this small joint. First hot food in a week! It was SO good! Then we found out we could take a bus- for 50 cents each- to Westport, which is right by the coast. So now we're in 2 Harbors State Park, campin' out. Costs 6 bucks. But the lady didn't have any change for my traveler's checks, so we didn't have to pay 'till mornin'. It's real wet here, 'cause it poured out last night. & we'll probably get poured on tonight. We need a tent! The past 2 days have been full of ghettos & incest victims!

Sun. 9-15-02

2008-06-27T14:50:00.000-05:00

I'm hungry. & my back tire is goin' flat kinda' fast. We started on our way again down highway 5, but they were doin' road work, so we lost the shoulder. We found a little spot through a few trees to get off & started goin' down back roads & now Brett's inside an Albertson's we found gettin' some food. & I recently found a deer tick on me. I'm quiet today so far. Not really tired I don't think. I mean, I got really good sleep. I'm just quiet today.

Well, we're in Tacoma! 5:00pm. Brett's going insane & we're still dealing w/my flat tire & the bike pump broke. We're gonna' try & find a bike shop I think. But it's Sunday & they'll be closin' soon anyway. We're sittin' in a small park & all Brett's doin' is screaming.

Tacoma is the *********, most ghetto city I've ever been to. It's all about sexual exploitation, trash & alcoholics, junkies, etc. We- I just walked FOREVER! Seems like miles. I'm beat. Brett walked too though for a while. We just FINALLY found a gas station w/ air (first gas station's air was out of order. I wanted to give up. Are we in hell?) & now we've gotta' deal w/my flat tire. AHHH! We want OUT! Keepin' my mace at hand!

Sat. 9-14-02

2008-06-26T16:41:00.002-05:00

While we were unpacking our bikes, a man (40's, 50's?) & a woman (late 20's?) stopped to talk to us. We told them what we were doin' & they saw our instruments & told us we should join in (they were gonna' play). & the man- after asking us where we sleep- told us they have an extra room in their house. Anyway- we stayed, drank coffee, ate a little & watched- I mean listened- to them play for 4 + hours! It was wonderful- but I was getting so tired! Afterwards we took them up on their offer. Their names are Shannon & Karl. We got to sleep on a bed! Indoors! Our own room & a bathroom that one other roommate shares. We just had some cereal & now we're gettin' ready to leave. We're gonna' try to work our way to Vashon Island today.

We're in Burien, WA now at a Safeway grocery eating some food. We're not doin' the Vashon Is. thing anymore. We called twice & the guy was an ***. So now we're just ON OUR WAY DOWN!!

We started bikin' today without even thinkin'. From the time we got up, till about a quarter after 7. Mostly along highway 5. (Lots of hills- or was it one big hill?) Of course we stopped a couple times. & I called my mom & talked to her & Zeus. -Brett just said that our Seattle map is officially of no use to us anymore.- Anyway, we just set up camp in some woods off the freeway. (During this night, Brett woke up freaked out because something was pushing his head up from the ground under our tarp-we had no tent. He woke me up & I laughed saying, it's probably just a mole or something. We also saw a pure white cat once when we got up to pee. We joked it was a guardian angel.) Tomorrow we reach Tacoma & hopefully right on to Olympia. So I guess now we can say we lived in Seattle for a week. Brett's playin' sax now & I'm flinging strange- looking spiders off my sleeping bag. It's goin' on 7:30. We'll probably smoke our resin soon & chill.

Note on the pic- this is a recent picture I took of the spot where the coffee shop/bookstore was. It is no longer the same place.

Part of journal entry, Fri. 9-13-02

2008-06-26T16:20:00.000-05:00

There was no food bank. They got rid of it. I like the Fremont area. Brett got us a can of split pea soup, corn, artichoke hearts & mixed it all up in some soup cups I got & ate it all cold. Very good though! Oh- & crackers crunched up in it. We had a can of chunky tropical fruit for dessert. & drank the juice! & some guy named Dave stopped to talk to us. Some 20 something hippie guy. He was all smiles & very amused at what we're doin'. Bikin' south & all. Anyway- he gave us some organic, outside, nug-yummy weed- & now we're layin' under the Arora bridge stoned. Brett's playin' guitar & it's another completely clear day. Yay!

We went to a coffee place/bookstore/tea place & read there's gonna' be a free folk music jam at 7:00 tonight. I wanted coffee so we went across the way to park our bikes & we found the food bank! Brett went in, but they said they were closed or whatever, but told him of another one that they thought was open till 5:00. It was almost 4:30. So we go all the way up the hill to the place & they closed at 2:00! But we got super, super yummy samples of food at this one place. One was apple stuff wrapped in a sweet bread & one had yellow rice & stuff in it. & Brett bought some really good, sweet, soft bread for 65 cents or somethin'. Then on the way back down, he bought a 40 & now we're under the bridge. After we finish the 40 we'll probably go up & get coffee, read books & wait for the music.

Summary of Journal Entries...

2008-06-21T13:30:00.002-05:00

The Lord took great care of us while we were away from home. There are going to be many entries I skip of course, because I don't plan on writing all of them! I just want to quickly share where we ended up sleeping every night. The first night in Seattle, we biked to the university & sneaked into an unlocked door after hours. We climbed the stairs & slept in a classroom. One of the windows was open, & it was a beautiful view, although it got a bit chilly. I was a little worried about waking up after the class was filled with students! But that never happened. The next day Brett found us some free showers near Green lake, which we then used during our stay in the city. The 2nd night we slept on the rooftop of a building directly bordering some one's yard. I believe it was used as storage units or something. Again, the view was beautiful. It seemed we were right under the space needle. The 3rd night we slept on the beach, hidden by some bushes, right next to a path people were walking on all evening. We were in a nice little clearing & read the bible together when we woke up the next morning. The next night found us on the rooftop yet again. Stoned & paranoid about helicopters flying above us with their spot lights grazing us. But nothin' bad ever happened. For food we usually shopped cheap at grocery stores & ate very simple meals. We didn't even bring a pan to cook in. So we mostly ate sandwiches & the like. The first day we were there, we were relaxing near a big park where a family & some friends were celebrating something. Brett walked down the hill to the park & helped himself to some food, as if he were part of the gathering. When he came back I took my turn. No one ever asked us anything. We often collected lots of blackberries. They were perfectly ripe that time of year & were delicious! we also once tried to eat at a food bank, only to find after biking quite some way to get there, that it was closed. The next entry I'll do will be of our last night in Seattle. Peace.

Note on the pic- This is a recent picture I took of the spot on the beach area we slept in. Living in Seattle now, years later, I'm trying to get pics of all the spots we slept in.

Straight from My Journal 9-7-02, Sat.

2008-06-16T19:11:00.000-05:00

It's goin' on 11:00pm, & Brett, my ma, Lee & I are all waitin'. We got here at about 9:00pm. I go up to the lady at the desk & ask how/where we get the boxes for our bikes. She says, "We don't have any." & goes on to say (while I'm slowly startin' to flip out) that they're out of them, but that they ordered some & we find out, well, we can come back a different day to leave. On a day they have boxes.

Well, isn't that just wonderful. I almost start to cry. We have 2 hrs to come up w/our own boxes big enough to fit bikes in. Brett says he can go through the dumpsters around here & find some boxes & they'll get some duct tape. My mom says that's wishful thinking. Brett & my mom leave, & Lee & I go to sit down. 2 men were putting their bikes in boxes & Lee was wonderin' how they got 'em. "Cause some man brought them out for them. So I say I'll go ask.

They were from Victoria, Canada & were here for a biking commute or something & they were headed back to Seattle also & takin' a ferry to Canada. (The train has just started moving)-Anyway!- Um...the boxes were theirs. & they already overheard we had none. So I tell 'em- yah- they're lookin' through dumpsters right now.

I go back to sit down, knowing I need to pray soon. So eventually I get up, tell Lee I'm goin' to pee, lock myself in a stall, plug my ears to completely zone out, & pray. Pray that everything works out. & this & that & this & that. Then I pee, come back out & sit down w/out a worry or care. Knowing that soon Brett & I will be on the train talking about how freaked out we were (& we recently did just that).

Brett & my mom arrive soon after & from then on, the 3 of us, plus the other two biker guys from Canada, are puttin' together our own boxes. & now we're sittin' down w/ everyone else in the car asleep, hittin' some Jack Daniels.

Welcome!

2008-06-12T13:15:00.001-05:00

I'm creating this blog to share some stories from an adventure I had in the not-so-far-away past. I'm actually trying to get up the motivation & find the time to write a book from the almost 5 notebooks I kept while I was livin' it.

God was there with us, shown not only in the beauty we experienced, but the people we met, & the times we were helped out of trials/tribulations. We were living life one day at a time. Not knowing where we'd sleep, what we'd eat, who we'd meet, or where we'd end up the next day.

We left our homes in Minnesota, with each a backpack of clothing, & bikes we got at the thrift store. Mine was $11.00. My mom told me it was a big waste of money. Wow, was she wrong! :) We said goodbye to tearful family, it was the first time I saw my dad cry. Being a mother myself now, I know how hard it must have been to let your 20 yr old daughter leave, while she tells you, no, she doesn't know where she'll sleep once they arrive. My dad sent me off with a gift- some mace.

A lot of things happened to us on our "adventure". I thought we'd be gone for a month or two. We came back 2 yrs later, baby in my belly!

I don't only want this blog to be of this time in my life though. God is shown every day. Although now, I'm living much more conventionally, a bit too comfortable I think, it's still possible to live in faith every day. Close to God & far from worldly things, although surrounded by them. How do you live away from something that's all around you? It's hard! I hope others enjoy reading this blog. My whole purpose in writing something public like this is to simply share my experiences with God. To give Him glory through everything I've been through & am going through.

God bless!